


They Call You Angel

by Auber_Gine_Dreams



Series: 1004 - Code Name: Angel [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Past Character Death, Power Dynamics, Side Wonwoo/Seungcheol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28367514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auber_Gine_Dreams/pseuds/Auber_Gine_Dreams
Summary: “How long have you been with the CCG, Joshua?”Jeonghan asks him, voice low between them.He swallows thickly before he answers. “Training for a year. On the job for a...month.”“That’s perfect.” His kagune moves slowly until it touches him, hot against the side of his neck. “I think if you’re assigned to my case we should get to know each other a bit better before we try to kill each other. Don’t you agree?”--Or--Joshua and Seungcheol investigate #1004, Code Name Angel.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: 1004 - Code Name: Angel [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761427
Comments: 16
Kudos: 115





	They Call You Angel

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a collaborative AU with [Ayesha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlylampshades/pseuds/minhyukwithagun)!! The fics before this one aren't required for this to make sense, but if you want the full experience you'll want to check them out!
> 
> As mentioned in the tags, this is a Tokyo Ghoul AU meaning there WILL be violence, blood/gore and **DISCUSSIONS OF CANNIBALISM**. You don't have to be familiar with the series at all to read. The only things you need to know are:
> 
> 1) Kagune are a ghoul's predatory organ  
> 2) Quinque are weapons made from ghouls and they are used by the CCG
> 
> There is also a [Pinterest Board](https://www.pinterest.com/auber_gine_dreams/they-call-you-angel/1004/) if you'd like some visuals!
> 
> I have a [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7F1FnzZBX64En5BGcjUIEg?si=UqQ-fykpTXuuzrLCEH-rmw) too~

_Start by wiping the blood off of his chin and_ _  
_ _pretending to understand..._ _  
_ _When is a monster not a monster?_ _  
_ _Oh, when you love it._ _  
_ _-Caitlyn Siehl_

Joshua doesn’t see the crime scene in person. Pictures are slid across Seungcheol’s desk to him on his first day, but at first all he can focus on is the man in front of him. It’s strange to see him again. When Joshua first met Seungcheol he seemed taller, stronger somehow. It’s been a few years since then, and time is evident in the dark circles under Seungcheol’s eyes, in the shiny, white scars on the backs of his hands. Joshua has heard rumors that there are pieces of him missing, carved out fighting high ranked ghouls alone. He doesn’t want to know if it’s true.

All Joshua can see when he looks down is blood, pools of black on the grainy CCTV stills. At the Academy, they train you like this, pictures from old crime scenes projected up, details rattled off mechanically. In the quiet, air conditioned classroom it doesn’t feel real. It’s easy for Joshua to put himself inside the picture (he’s already been there, Seungcheol at his side just like this), but he shakes it away, focuses on what Seungcheol is trying to show him instead.

His finger hovers over the ghoul. It’s a back shot. The only things visible are his long hair and the twin kagune high on his back. They almost look like wings.

“Fifteen dead,” Seungcheol says. Joshua can’t stop looking at the ghoul in the picture. “He literally painted the walls with their blood.”

“What do we know about him?” he whispers. 

Seungcheol sighs, pulling his finger away from the photo. “He’s #1004. Code name Angel. That’s all we’ve got so far.” Joshua meets his eyes and tries to swallow the anxiety clawing up his throat. “We’re assuming he’s S rank, but we don’t have confirmation. No one in custody knows him or is willing to talk about him.”

This is reality. Joshua’s job isn’t just to capture and kill ghouls. He also has to investigate them, track them, hunt them. Ghouls are born, and they grow up. They make alliances and they make enemies. This one could be new in town, or he could be so powerful no one is willing to cross him.

“So we just...have to wait for him to strike again?” Joshua asks. Seungcheol’s mouth is a thin line and it makes something heavy fall into Joshua’s gut, an omen.

“He already has. Ready for your first crime scene?”

Joshua stares up at stained glass windows, late afternoon sun blazing across them until it’s blinding. There is yellow tape everywhere, a line of people who part easily when they see him and Seungcheol walk up. They walk past a few officers stationed outside. Joshua gives each of them a quick bow before they enter. There is blood on the stones under his feet. Joshua feels lightheaded. They step into the alcove and Seungcheol sets a hand on his shoulder, eyes softening.

“It’s always hard the first time. It gets easier, I promise,” he says, giving Joshua’s shoulder a squeeze. 

He takes a deep breath and steels himself. Commissioner Chae allowed him to be Seungcheol’s partner because of his ranking at the Academy. If he can’t cut it in the real world, he will be letting too many people down for his own sanity. He has to prove that he can do this.

The inside of the church is a bloodbath. Not a single body is left intact. Seungcheol hisses, frowning as he opens a small notepad and starts writing. Joshua feels like he’s been hit by a truck. His shoes squelch on the carpet and it reminds him so much of university that he almost falls to his knees. It takes monumental effort to keep himself upright. The air smells like iron, so thick Joshua can taste it. 

He wants to ask why a church, if there’s any significance to the ghoul called Angel coming here, but he knows it doesn’t matter. Ghouls kill because they can, because they are predators of humans, monsters wearing camouflage. There is no humanity behind those black eyes.

“Angel is a binge eater,” Seungcheol murmurs softly. The church is so quiet the words still echo against the walls. “Seems he likes to make a mess of his meals.”

“You left that part out,” Joshua whispers back. It’s getting easier to look at, maybe. The longer he stares at the bodies the more he’s able to convince himself that they’re not real, that this is all movie magic. 

Seungcheol makes a soft sound almost like a laugh. “Sorry about that.” He walks down the center aisle and Joshua follows. “Let’s look around. It’s possible he left something behind. Something that will tell us where we can find him.”

There is nothing to look at, is Joshua’s gut reaction. There is blood, there is gore, there is death thick in the air. Blood speckled on the cross in the center of the pulpit, glittering in the late afternoon sun. Dust motes, too, specks dancing in the strong beam of light. He takes a breath, then another, focusing on what Seungcheol has asked him to do.

He walks through a pew that is mostly empty, ignoring the way his shoes sink into the carpet, and makes his way to the far wall. Here, too, it seems that Angel has painted the walls crimson. Joshua leans closer. It almost looks like writing underneath the blood, like Angel thought to leave them a message but changed his mind at the last moment. He squints, trying to make out any words. It’s red on red, thick and blurred. He takes out his phone and snaps a picture. If he keeps looking, maybe he can figure out what’s been scrubbed away.

He turns around to call Seungcheol. He’s kneeling in front of the pulpit, staring up at the altar. There’s streaks of blood on the marble that look suspiciously like hands. It’s easy to put the grainy photo of the ghoul there, like a cat, sprawled out to admire the mess he made. 

When Seungcheol meets his eyes he jerks his head to the wall behind him.

“There’s writing. I think he wanted to leave a message.”

Seungcheol stands slowly. “Can you read it?”

He shakes his head. “It looks like writing underneath. Maybe someone can work out what it says with pictures.”

The corner of Seungcheol’s mouth ticks like he’s suppressing a smile. “That’s up to the police. We can pass along what we’ve found and hope they do the same.” He turns back to the front of the church, reaching up to run a hand through his hair but stopping just before, conscious of the blood lingering on the tips of his fingers. “He came and went through the front. There’s no evidence that he went anywhere except the main worship area. It’s going to be hard to track him from this.”

Seungcheol is good at what he does. Joshua has spent most of his time trying not to lose it in front of his partner, and Seungcheol has taken in everything there is to see and formed solid conclusions. It gets easier, he said. Joshua hopes he’s right.

“Is there any CCTV footage?” Joshua asks.

Seungcheol nods. “We can review it back at headquarters. Let’s do a final sweep. Make sure we didn’t miss anything.” 

Joshua can see the moment that Seungcheol wants to reassure him again. It makes him feel warm, half because he wants to hear that Seungcheol thinks he’s doing a good job and half because he doesn’t want to be treated like he’s delicate. He isn’t. He passed the psychological screenings. 

They make their way slowly around the room. Joshua stops in front of the pulpit, tries to see things through Seungcheol’s eyes. He turns around and imagines Angel kicking the doors open, or maybe he’d be the type to push them open with a grand sweep of his arms. The pastor would stop, maybe, look up in surprise. Kagune like angel wings would fan out, crimson flames hardening to spikes that dance across the flesh of men and women and children. He would probably save the pastor for last. 

When everyone was dead he would eat until he couldn’t eat anymore. Maybe he stood right here and surveyed the walls, walked here and there and spread the blood around. He started to write a message, wanted to say something to the men chasing him but changed his mind at the last moment. How long did he lay on the altar? When he stared up at the white ceiling, what did he think about?

He walks the opposite wall, staring hard at the blood in case there is anything else hidden beneath the swaths of red. Joshua is the last one out of the church. Above the exit there is a picture of Christ, crown of thorns adorning his weary head. He stares at the man on the cross and he wonders if the dead have found peace.

When he makes it outside, the last hint of sun bleeds away into dusk. Seungcheol’s hand is back on his shoulder. He wonders if it will ever stop being a comfort.

“How many more will he kill before we find him?” Joshua asks. 

Seungcheol sighs. When Joshua looks over there is something weary to him, like Atlas.

“You’re an Investigator now, so I’m going to be honest with you.” Seungcheol lets him go and wipes his hands on his trench coat. “So many that it will keep you up at night. But we _will_ stop him. I promise you that.”

The breeze that blows through the trees is warm but Joshua shivers anyway. The back of his neck tingles, prickling like he’s being watched. It’s unnerving, but he refuses to let his own paranoia get to him. He wonders how many times he will wake up to the smell of blood. He could probably ask Seungcheol, and he would be honest with him, but Joshua doesn’t really want to know.

🙨🙨🙨

The problem with binge eaters is that they are always hungry. They eat and eat and it is never enough. Commissioner Chae taught a lecture once shortly after his appointment to the position. An expert in the field, his classmates whispered about Chae Hyungwon and #113, how he spent a year building up the CCG’s database and almost lost his sanity in the process. 

“We all have hunger, but for binge eaters it never goes away. Try to imagine it. What would you do if your brain was always receiving hunger signals?” Joshua remembers the way Hyungwon shuddered like he knew the feeling well. Like he’d lived it already. “This is why binge eaters are dangerous. A never ending ache that they biologically must satisfy, but no matter how much they eat, they can’t.”

Joshua dreams of the church so many times over the next few weeks that he sees it any time his eyes are closed. In spite of the frequency he still wakes up with his hair plastered to the back of his neck with sweat. He can smell blood in the air. His stomach twinges with something between nausea and hunger, and it’s this that forces him into the shower. 

He makes it to the train when he gets a call from Seungcheol. 

“Am I late?” he asks, shaking the sleeve of his trench coat out of the way to check his watch. “I’m about to get on the train.”

“ _Skip it_ ,” Seungcheol says. He’s breathing hard. “ _There’s an old factory close to the university. Do you know it?_ ”

“Yeah, yeah. The city was supposed to demolish it last year but there wasn’t enough in the budget or something. I’m maybe a ten minute walk from campus.”

“ _He’s there. Now_.” He knows before Seungcheol says it, can hear it in the way he takes a breath. “ _Angel._ ”

“I’ll be there,” Joshua says as he hangs up and pockets his phone. He scrubs a hand through his hair and turns on his heel, breaking out in a run toward campus. 

After the incident, Joshua stayed with Jun until he joined the CCG, and after that he was provided housing. His apartment is small, and even though it’s close to campus it doesn’t remind him of his time at university. He hasn’t really gone back since, dropping the semester with Incompletes and quelling his parents’ disappointment with news of his acceptance into the CCG’s program. 

He can see the high clock tower when he turns a corner. It’s nostalgia more than anything that creeps into his chest, a longing he doesn’t expect. He misses Jun. He misses his professors. He even misses his literature TA, Wonwoo, who always wrote little notes in the margins of his papers. _Great use of metaphor. Excellent phrasing_. He wonders if the university has changed as much as he has.

Seungcheol is slamming his car door shut just as Joshua jogs up to the condemned building. He opens his mouth but before he can speak there is a shriek, a loud thud, and then nothing. Joshua runs for the open door before he thinks about it. He can hear Seungcheol behind him, the metallic flick of his quinque extending at his side.

The inside of the building is dark. The sky is grey, no morning light to penetrate the dimness. It takes Joshua’s eyes a moment to adjust, but the slowly spreading pool of blood is easy enough to find. There is a woman face down on the concrete, limbs awkward beneath her. Like she jumped. Or fell.

Joshua reaches into his pocket and pulls out his quinque, eyes flicking up to the balcony above them.

He’s beautiful. It’s not the first thought he should be having at seeing a ghoul who has killed dozens of people in the span of a few weeks, but that’s what flashes through Joshua’s mind. Angel vaults over the railing and lands easily on his feet behind the body.

“Choi Seungcheol,” he says, flicking his blonde hair out of his face. “I’m flattered the CCG sent you, but you’re not exactly my type.” His eyes are black with red pupils, and it feels like Joshua is looking at pure evil when their eyes meet. “Who’s this? Did you bring me a treat? What’s your name, sweetheart?”

Joshua’s stomach turns over, hot and sour at the pet name. It should be the threat of being eaten that makes him feel this way. It’s not.

Joshua’s quinque is a whip, easy to manipulate, good for distance attacks. He flicks the length of it and it makes a satisfying crack in the air next to him. 

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” 

Angel grins at that. There is blood at the corner of his mouth. He walks closer, steps over the body of the woman like she is not there at all, like she is nothing. Joshua wonders dizzily how much of her he ate before she fell.

“I hear the CCG calls me Angel. Flattering, really.” This close, Joshua can see his hand is coated in blood, streams running down his elbow. “My name is Jeonghan. I have a surname, but I don’t think either of you really care about that detail.” He levels his eyes at Joshua again. There is something there in the darkness, something warm, almost amused. “And you are?”

Jeonghan holds his hand above his head and lets the blood drip from his elbow and into his mouth. It’s somewhere between beautiful and horrific, and Joshua _really_ needs to stop thinking like this. 

“My name is Joshua, Second Rank Junior Investigator.”

Jeonghan lowers his arm and smiles. There is blood on his teeth. “The CCG has really gone downhill. Recruitment low after the raid? Understandable. If I had the choice to live a relatively normal life or fight monsters like Rams Head...it’s not much of a choice, is it?”

Seungcheol makes a sound behind him and Joshua sees him move closer out of the corner of his eye. They’re side by side. Joshua is grateful for it. 

“Well, Jeonghan, Angel, you are one of the top ten most wanted ghouls by the CCG. We aren’t leaving without you,” Seungcheol says. He lets his trench coat fall to the ground and he is left in a black button down and slacks. Joshua has never seen him without his coat. It feels intimate, somehow. Almost forbidden.

Jeonghan seems to agree, turning his attention to Seungcheol and walking closer. 

His kagune burst from his back. They’re fast, flickering like flames behind him. Jeonghan reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. He looks...peaceful.

“You really want to fight me? Isn’t my information more valuable?” He charges forward as the words leave his mouth, and Joshua has to take a few steps back to avoid the arc of Seungcheol’s quinque. 

Joshua tries to find an opening to strike. He wants to help, not stand there like some helpless civilian. They both move at amazing speeds, Seungcheol pushing his body to keep up with Jeonghan’s quick, relentless attacks. His kagune is made for this style of fighting. How easy it must be for him to kill humans. Most of them are probably dead before they realize anything has happened at all. 

Jeonghan flips backward and lands behind the dead woman again, grinning. “I met a certain ghoul recently. Handsome. Glasses. You might know him.” The words make all the color drain from Seungcheol’s face. “Aren’t you curious to know how he’s been?”

Joshua takes this opportunity to strike. He steps forward and lashes out, whip a perfect arc in the air before wrapping around Jeonghan’s arm. It bites into his skin, the tough material of the quinque designed to inflict damage on ghouls. He stares down at it almost in awe before turning his attention to Joshua, leveling eyes that are far too warm at his own. 

“Did you think I was ignoring you, sweetheart?” 

He tugs and Joshua stumbles forward a few steps. A chill of fear runs up his spine. He knows, of course, ghouls are strong. He’s seen the videos, he’s read the papers. It’s different when you’re experiencing it. Jeonghan grins, side-stepping to avoid an attack from Seungcheol. Right. Seungcheol is here, too. Joshua had sort of forgotten for a second. 

Joshua manages to flick his wrist just right and unwind his quinque from Jeonghan’s arm. There is an angry red coil on his skin. Seungcheol is relentless, coming at Jeonghan with blow after blow. Jeonghan spends most of the time on the defensive, and Joshua throws in a few shots at his legs, trying his best to trip him up, exploit any kind of weakness. 

Joshua thinks that after this, if there is an after, Seungcheol will want to spar with him. They have no experience together, no coordination to their attacks. There are no CCG protocols for fighting in pairs. It’s something partners learn for themselves. Seungcheol fights like he doesn’t need anyone, and between dodging Jeonghan’s kagune and trying desperately to land another strike he wonders if Seungcheol even needs a partner at all.

Jeonghan lands a kick to Seungcheol’s chest, right in the sternum, and he flies backward into a stack of wood, the crash deafening in the silence around them. Joshua glances back at him but Jeonghan doesn’t give him time to react, charging forward until they are nearly touching. Joshua strikes with his quinque, grunting from the force.

Jeonghan’s kagune hovers over his shoulder, aimed at Joshua’s throat. It’s not a single solid color like Joshua initially thought. Up close, it’s almost patterned, flecks of lighter red among the dark, pulsing and alive. Jeonghan’s blonde hair is dotted with red. Everything about him is red, red, red. Joshua is frozen, quinque wrapped around Jeonghan’s throat. It’s a stalemate, but they both know that Jeonghan will strike first. And Jeonghan will win. His eyes trail down Joshua’s face, lingering here and there as he looks him over. He shivers. 

“How long have you been with the CCG, Joshua?”Jeonghan asks him, voice low between them.

He swallows thickly before he answers. “Training for a year. On the job for a...month.”

“That’s perfect.” His kagune moves slowly until it touches him, hot against the side of his neck. “I think if you’re assigned to my case we should get to know each other a bit better before we try to kill each other. Don’t you agree?”

There is a rustling to their right. Joshua can see Seungcheol’s hand out of the corner of his eye, fighting his way out of the splintered wood from the impact of Jeonghan’s kick. Jeonghan doesn’t miss the opportunity, winding his hand around Joshua’s quinque and yanking him closer. Fear is icy down his spine, heart speeding in his chest. Jeonghan could tear his throat out like this.

“I’ll see you soon, pretty boy. Let’s pencil something in for next week. I’ll be hungry before then, but I don’t want to overwork you just yet.”

Jeonghan’s kagune wraps around Joshua’s wrist so fast he doesn’t see it until it’s squeezing him, forcing him to drop his quinque. Jeonghan flips back, launching himself up to the second floor. From the back his kagune really do look like wings, red and terrible and beautiful. Seungcheol makes it to him just as Jeonghan leaps from the window. The clouds have parted and sunlight streams in through the broken windows. He squints up at it, sighing.

“If we hurry we might be able to track him,” he says even as he sways on his feet. Joshua reaches out and grips his arm to steady him. He looks down at where they touch and frowns, like he’s not used to being taken care of. It’s been a long time since Choi Seungcheol had a partner. That thought nags at the back of Joshua’s mind. Is he needed? Is he wanted?

“I think you should go to the hospital,” Joshua says softly. Seungcheol frowns harder. “Or at least take the day off. We can come up with a plan tomorrow. I’ll go to the office and brief the Commissioner on what happened.”

Seungcheol meets his eyes. It’s like something is hanging between them unspoken, like Seungcheol is worried that Joshua is going to hate him. He’s not sure how to fix it. After a few heartbeats Seungcheol lets the air whoosh from his lungs in a sigh.

“Fine,” he says. “Okay. I’ll go home. You should too, after you talk to Commissioner Chae.” 

They walk slowly out of the building. When they get to his car, Seungcheol calls in the dead woman. His hand is dirty on the hood of his car. He looks tired. Joshua still doesn't know how to fix it.

“Not bad,” Seungcheol says when he pockets his phone. Joshua raises an eyebrow. “For your first fight. I thought you might shy away from it, but you did pretty well. Your quinque isn’t a good match for Angel, but you went for it. I appreciate that.”

Joshua feels like he’s put on an oversized sweater. “Thanks,” he says. The urge to call Seungcheol sir hasn’t faded. He keeps reminding himself they’re partners now. “We should probably practice together. I can look into another quinque, too. Even if it’s a loaner.”

In the end, he offers Joshua a ride to headquarters. It’s on the way, is what he says, but Joshua thinks he just can’t let it go, that he has to keep involved in the case in some way.

It’s not until he’s back at his own apartment that he thinks about the ghoul Jeonghan mentioned to Seungcheol. Maybe it’s The Final One. Joshua heard rumors that he wore glasses when he was still an unknown. That would explain why Seungcheol was so pale, so shaken. It must be hell to chase the ghouls that killed your partner. Joshua hopes he never has to find out what that’s like. 

🙨🙨🙨

A week to the day Joshua finds himself at another bloodbath. He chose a park. Fewer people but more carnage, blood almost fluorescent in the bright afternoon sun. Like paint. The whole scene looks like something out of a movie, too over the top to be real. Joshua takes it all in even though he would rather not have nightmares about this later, looking at each body, each puddle of blood, desperate for any clue left behind by Angel.

There’s a man crumpled under an oak tree, hand outstretched like he tried to crawl to safety. There is nowhere safe from a ghoul like Jeonghan, Joshua thinks, but the man learned that the hard way. There is a hole in his back, and when Joshua gets closer he can see the grass through it. His heart is gone. Joshua’s vision swims. He braces himself on the tree, breathing through his nose shallowly, carefully. Seungcheol casts him a look that feels worried even half way across the park, but he shakes his head and Seungcheol nods, turning back to his notebook. 

The bark is rough under his fingers, the texture grounding. He takes a moment to focus on it, tracing the cracks until he feels a little less like he’s going to pass out. He takes a step back. His fingers brush against wetness and he freezes. He knows it’s blood before he pulls away to look. It’s just out of eyesight from the way he came, not lined up with the body at the base of the tree at all. It’s odd. Very odd. Joshua ignores the way his skin crawls with the need to wipe the blood off his hands and moves around the tree. 

There’s an address. At first, Joshua can’t see it. It’s just lines of red, thick splatters, senseless. But then the lines become something recognizable. He opens his notebook, careful of the blood, and scribbles the numbers down. It’s not a street Joshua is familiar with which means it’s on the outskirts of the city, one of those neighborhoods with high crime and more ghouls than the CCG cares to admit are at large in the ward at all. 

Joshua glances at the address one more time before running his palm through the mess of blood, obscuring the message Angel definitely left for him. _We should get to know each other_ , he’d said, as if Joshua hasn’t spent every day since he was put on this case memorizing Jeonghan’s file. The figure that rounds the tree isn’t Seungcheol, but another officer who takes a look at his bloody hand and shakes his head, continuing past him. 

If he tells Seungcheol then he will want to come too, and Joshua is certain Jeonghan wants him to come alone. If he wanted both of them the address would have been left in a more obvious spot. He knew Joshua would be scanning the perimeter of the crime scene. Does he already have an established pattern with Seungcheol? Has Jeonghan been watching them close enough to notice?

A shiver works down his spine and he glances around hastily, half convinced he can feel Jeonghan’s red pupiled eyes on him, the weight of his gaze just as heavy as the first time.

The rest of the crime scene is so unimportant Joshua forgets it by the time Seungcheol drives them both back to the office. He’s getting used to it. The blood. The bodies. The little traces of Angel left like bread crumbs. He wants to ask Seungcheol why Jeonghan is so interested in him, but then he has to admit that he’s curious, too. He shouldn’t be. He doesn’t want to see the disappointment in Seungcheol’s face when Joshua tells him.

So he doesn’t.

The streetlights are on when he leaves the office. He walks the same way he always does, not wanting to alert anyone to a change in his routine. When he’s half way to the train he pulls the notebook paper out of his pocket. There’s a fingerprint of dried blood on the corner, but he can still make out the numbers. The address, it turns out, leads him to an alley and not an apartment or business. In front of him is a run down drug store, to the left is a bar and to the right a laundromat. It’s very...normal. Not what he expects at all. 

He takes a step into the alley. Bright red shoots out, a kagune wrapping around his wrist and pulling him into the darkness. There’s no time for him to brace for the impact when he’s slammed into the wall.

He cracks his eyes open and Jeonghan is right in front of him, red pupils glowing in the darkness. He looks pleased. 

“I’m so glad you got my message,” Jeonghan says. His kagune squeezes Joshua’s wrist so tightly the bones grind together. He grits his teeth to keep from making a sound. “I was worried you’d tell your partner. Why didn’t you?”

Joshua reaches blindly into the pocket of his trench coat for his quinque. Jeonghan’s hand catches his wrist and pins it to the wall. They’re so close Joshua can see the tiny veins under Jeonghan’s eyes, red even in the dimness. 

“Don’t make me wait too long, Inspector,” Jeonghan says. “Why didn’t you tell Seungcheol?”

“I thought it might be fake,” Joshua says, “or a trap. I needed to check it out myself first.”

He brings his knee up and connects with Jeonghan’s abdomen, staggering him enough that his grip loosens. He scrambles, freeing his wrist and pulling out his quinque in record time. Jeonghan dodges when he strikes, but his kagune is still around Joshua’s wrist. He tugs him, hard, and Joshua staggers away from the wall. 

“You’re not at my level, sweetheart. Don’t push yourself too hard,” Jeonghan says, the corner of his mouth ticking up like he’s fighting back a laugh. 

“We’ll see about that,” Joshua says under his breath. He tugs his wrist down. Jeonghan doesn’t stumble, but he does look away from his face. Joshua’s quinque is a special request. A whip. Because he likes the space for attacks, close or distance if he chooses. As a custom model, it comes with a few special features. He wraps the whip around his fist, ducks low and strikes out. Just as he’s about to make contact with Jeonghan’s skin he frees his hand. The whip wraps around his thigh, and Joshua presses the button on the end of the handle. The whip fires off a burst of electricity, and Jeonghan screams.

Joshua takes three healthy steps back and pulls the whip tighter around Jeonghan’s thigh, so tight it’s nearly cutting. It _can_ cut. Joshua was there when his weapon was put to the test. Quinque are made from harvested kagune. Nothing hurts a ghoul like another ghoul. 

“I thought we were having fun,” Jeonghan grits out, hands balled into fists at his sides. “Do you seriously think you can bring me in all by yourself? Want to impress your little mentor?”

The back of Joshua’s neck burns. “I want to keep you from killing innocent humans. That’s all this is.”

Jeonghan laughs. “He’s not going to fuck you. You’re not really his type.” There’s something in his eyes. A secret. It’s the same as when they were at the warehouse. “They say Choi Seungcheol prefers someone with a little more.. _bite_.”

Joshua uncoils his whip and strikes all at once, slicing across Jeonghan’s abdomen and tearing through his shirt. It doesn’t seem to phase him as much as the electricity. Joshua swears under his breath. 

Without the hold, Jeonghan flips back, putting more distance between them. Jeonghan’s kagune is designed for short, close-range attacks. He’s got to get close to Joshua to land any blows. Joshua strikes out but Jeonghan dodges easily. 

“The first time was luck. I’ll be expecting it now,” Jeonghan says. “You’ve played your trump card too early, sweetheart.”

Jeonghan moves so fast Joshua’s eyes almost can’t keep up. One moment the two of them are a few meters apart and the next Jeonghan is close enough to slam his kagune into Joshua’s chest. He flies into the dead end of the alley, back hitting brick hard enough that his vision goes black. He gasps in a breath and Jeonghan is right there, kagune slicing across his cheek. He hisses. Blood drips from the cut. 

Jeonghan makes a big show of licking the blood from his kagune. As close as he is, Joshua can see the blood spread across his tongue, the way his eyes darken. He shivers. 

“I knew you’d taste good,” Jeonghan says. He leans in closer, his lips nearly ghosting across his own. “I’m going to enjoy taking you apart piece by piece.”

Angel is going to kill him. Angel is going to eat him. It’s amazing how quickly Joshua accepts it. Maybe when death is staring you in the face it’s the only option you have. He keeps his eyes open, watches Jeonghan lean closer. His breath is warm on his neck.

And then Jeonghan’s cell phone rings. Loud enough that it startles them both. Joshua’s heart hammers so hard against his ribs it jolts him back against the brick. Jeonghan sighs and swears under his breath. His kagune wraps around Joshua’s throat and holds him there while he checks the screen.

His mouth is a tight line. He doesn’t answer the call, but when he turns his attention back to Joshua he’s almost disappointed. 

“I’ve got a...meeting. Is that what you’d call it? It’s certainly not a date,” Jeonghan says. “An obligation. That’s a little better. Either way, we’ll have to pick this up another time.”

He lets Joshua go and launches himself onto the roof of the building all at once. Ghouls are frustrating like that. Fast and strong and deadly. Joshua keeps his back against the wall for a long time before he finally takes a breath. His whip is still in his hand, slack in his grip. Everything hurts. He should feel lucky, but he just feels disappointed.

The walk home feels almost like a walk of shame. Joshua had one of those at university. This guy in his math class. Mingyu. Their dorms were on opposite sides of campus. On a Sunday morning, rumpled clothes and tousled hair and two red marks on the side of his neck, Joshua walked to his dorm. It shouldn’t feel like that now, but it feels like every eye on the street is on him. Questions Joshua doesn’t have an answer to.

He showers and falls into bed. He dreams of Wonwoo, strangely enough. In the dream Wonwoo presses him against his dorm mattress and kisses him, the taste of blood in his mouth. When Joshua pulls back it’s Jeonghan on top of him instead, long blonde hair tickling his face. 

He’s almost late for work, body aching and bleary from restless sleep. He passes Seungcheol in the hall and is pulled unceremoniously into his office.

Seungcheol’s hand cups his cheek, eyebrows furrowed.

“What happened? Who did this to you?” Seungcheol asks. The tip of his thumb traces just under the cut on his cheek. Joshua sucks in a breath.

It’s better to tell him. He can take the scolding, _that was reckless, don’t do it again_. He held his own against Angel. It’s no small feat. Seungcheol might even be a little proud under it all. He thinks of Jeonghan’s words, the implication that there’s something sexual between them. Joshua doesn’t want Seungcheol like that. He wants to be a competent partner. He wants to make him proud. 

“It was just some punks. I broke up a scuffle and they roughed me up a little. I’ll leave it to the police next time, promise.”

It’s a barely passable lie. They both know CCG training is more than enough to handle human threats. Seungcheol stares at him for a few moments longer. His hand drops from Joshua’s face but the warmth of the touch lingers.

“Just...be careful, Joshua.”

He doesn’t know if Seungcheol believes him, but neither of them say anything else about it.

🙨🙨🙨

It’s the first time they catch him at a crime scene. It’s all very lucky. Joshua and Seungcheol are heading back from the edge of the ward, interviews fruitless, but instead of feeling discouraged Joshua just feels impatient. His last meeting with Angel hasn’t left his mind. Jeonghan’s teeth are blinding white when they aren’t coated in blood. His hands are surprisingly warm, too. Joshua can still feel the lingering touches, the ghost of lips almost, _almost_ touching his skin. He doesn’t think they will ever go away.

The call comes across the radio. Hunt in progress. Five dead a few blocks from their location. Blonde ghoul with kagune that look like wings. They glance at each other for a moment before Seungcheol slams on the accelerator. It takes only a few minutes to get to the scene. Joshua doesn’t wait for Seungcheol to park. He sprints out of the still running car right past the bodies. He can just make out Jeonghan’s form in the darkness. Jeonghan’s kagune glows a few meters ahead of him, a taunt, a beacon. He can hear Seungcheol call after him but he doesn’t pay it any mind. 

“Stop,” he shouts. Jeonghan turns to glance at him with a grin.

“I’m starting to think you’re following me,” Jeonghan calls back. “I’m just barely in the 20th. Aren’t there toes you’re stepping on?”

It’s almost enough to make Joshua pause. This isn’t something they cover so much at the Academy, but the CCG covers all of Tokyo. He might hurt feelings, but he’s not actually breaking any rules. Even if he were, he doesn’t think it would stop him from chasing after Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan’s path is one of sharp turns and sudden reversals. Even if they were in a part of the ward he was familiar with it would take him a while to regain his bearings. Out here at the border, he’s completely lost. He can’t hear Seungcheol, no lights from any police cars shine between the alleys. 

Jeonghan finally stops in front of a building that is so decayed it looks seconds from collapsing into dust. He’s still a hundred meters ahead. Joshua keeps running, pulls out his quinque (he won’t be caught unarmed, not like last time) and closes the distance as fast as he can. 

Jeonghan grins. In the streetlight his eyes flash red, kagune wavering behind him. He’s a beautiful terror. Joshua has seen him up close, close enough to kiss, to rip his throat out, and he still can’t stop thinking it. 

“Watch your step, sweetheart,” he calls before he runs through the open door. 

Joshua doesn’t wait to catch his breath even though his lungs ache and his side is seizing up. If he makes it out of this he’s going to add more PT to his training regimen. The inside of the building is just as decayed as the outside. Walls barely holding together, plaster peeling and paint crumbling. It might have been an apartment complex once, though it’s hard to say. Jeonghan catches his eye and winks, launching himself up three flights of stairs and onto the balcony above. Joshua would groan if he had the energy. He takes the stairs as quickly as he can, dodging the broken ones, keeps his steps light on the rotting wood. He’s on the second floor when Jeonghan leans against the balcony and sighs.

“Can’t you go any faster? This isn’t very fun.”

Joshua launches his quinque and Jeonghan grins, dodging. It wraps around the railing and against his better judgement he leaps, pulling himself up with his weapon. The railing cracks under his weight but he ignores it. Jeonghan, much more impressed, makes for the stairs.

It happens in an instant. One moment Joshua is chasing Jeonghan up a flight of stairs and the next moment the stairs are just gone. There is no time for fear, barely time to feel pain. He opens his eyes in the rubble, and it’s a miracle nothing is broken.

“It’s completely caved in,” Jeonghan says. Joshua cranes his neck to find him leaning against the only wall still standing. “I’m afraid we’re stuck in here, sweetheart.”

Joshua scrambles to his feet, vision swimming. His head is pounding and his left ankle feels sprained, but he can fight. He has to. His quinque is miraculously still in his hand. He shakes feeling back into his wrist and flicks the whip at his side. Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

“This again? Isn’t it time to give up this ruse?”

Joshua lashes out but Jeonghan dodges easily, almost materializing in the opposite corner with how fast he moves. His kagune fans out over his shoulder, hardening to spikes. He rushes, and Joshua barely has time to bring his quinque in front of him before he strikes. Warm hands wrap around his wrist and he slams into the wall with a grunt. 

“I can smell how much you want me,” Jeonghan says, voice low. He glances down at Joshua’s lips, his neck. “I don’t know why you’re still denying it.”

Joshua’s body burns. There is nowhere for him to recoil, pressed tight against the wall, Jeonghan nearly pressed against him. 

“You’re wrong,” Joshua growls. He presses the button on his quinque and it crackles with electricity. “I would never want you. You’re a _ghoul_.”

He pushes the whip between them, desperate to put any amount of distance he can between their bodies. Jeonghan grins.

“You really plan to hurt yourself just to get away from me?”

The tip of the whip makes contact with his calf and Josua’s body goes nearly numb, muscles tensing from the current. He pushes as hard as he can, forcing his hand forward until he touches Jeonghan’s chest. For a moment they’re locked like that, completing the circuit, muscles jolting under skin. Jeonghan drops his wrist and leaps back, and it takes the rest of Joshua’s strength to press his quinque and stop the electricity. 

He falls to his knees even though he shouldn’t, panting. His vision blurs, black dots at the edges. Jeonghan has a hand on his hip, breathing a bit faster but otherwise unscathed. There’s a black mark on his shirt where Joshua’s quinque struck him. He can’t imagine what his own leg must look like. He struggles to his feet and Jeonghan lets out a loud sigh. 

He’s barely made it to his feet when there’s a low rumble. Jeonghan’s eyes are wide. The wall to Joshua’s back falls, and all he can do is limp as fast as he can and hope it’s enough to keep him from being crushed.

He loses a little time. He must, because one moment he is glancing behind him as the wall gives out and the next he is on the ground, head pillowed on Jeonghan’s lap. 

“What,” Joshua starts. He tries to sit up and he’s hit with nauseating pain, slamming his eyes shut. 

A hand on his shoulder, gentle but insistent. 

“Stay there. We’re not fighting anymore. See?” Jeonghan taps his cheek until he cracks his eyes open. Jeonghan’s eyes are brown, now, kagune hidden away under his skin. He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “No reason to hurt yourself when there’s nothing to worry about.”

He’s dead. He has a concussion or he’s hallucinating. There’s no other explanation for how he could be laying with his head in a binge eater’s lap. 

“The wall was coming down too fast. I tried to get you out of the way but I wasn’t quick enough. A piece got you right here.” Jeonghan’s fingers hover over his right shoulder. It feels a little wet, should probably hurt but he can’t feel anything. He reaches up to touch it and Jeonghan’s hand wraps around his. “No, no, don’t touch it. It’ll get infected if you do that.”

“Not like you care,” Joshua murmurs. His eyes are open fully now, his vision stabilizing enough to see Jeonghan frown down at him. 

“I saved your life and this is the thanks I get? Humans really are nothing but trouble. Minhyuk told me to keep my distance and what did I do? Exactly the opposite.”

“Eating humans and being wanted by the CCG is hardly keeping your distance. I agree with you there,” Joshua says. He laughs but it ends in a cough that sends pain straight to his shoulder. He curls in on himself and squeezes his eyes shut. “Who is Minhyuk? A friend of yours?”

Jeonghan gives him a clipped laugh. “Something like that. Why? Does it shock you that ghouls have friends?”

“Sometimes you eat each other. There’s always fighting among the high ranked ghouls. Hard to have friends when everything is about who is the strongest.”

“Isn’t climbing the ranks in the CCG the same thing?”

Joshua forces himself up at that. His shoulder throbs so hard he gasps. He brings his knees up to his chest and rests his head on the crumbling plaster behind him. 

“You’re a monster. A beast that lives to kill and destroy.” He cracks his eyes open to see Jeonghan move closer to him. There should be fear, he’s barely been holding his own with both arms, but there isn’t. “I can’t believe we’re alike in any way at all.”

Jeonghan is in front of him the next time he opens his eyes. He doesn’t remember shutting them. That can’t be good. His eyebrows are pulled down in something like genuine concern. He reaches out and runs his fingers through Joshua’s hair. It’s far too intimate for how they’ve been trying to kill each other for months now. 

“I think we’re a lot alike, sweetheart.” Jeonghan moves closer, his mouth hovering next to Joshua’s ear. “You don’t want to see it. That’s ok. You will.”

He pulls back but he’s still close. Kissing close. The bits of light that stream through the crumbled plaster cast him in a candle lit glow. Warmth dances in his brown eyes. If only Jeonghan was human, maybe things would be different. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Jeonghan whispers, corner of his mouth ticked up. “If you ask nicely, I’ll think about it.”

Joshua huffs and rolls his eyes, wincing at the stab of pain in his shoulder. “You really think that I’m attracted to you. Does it wound your ego or something? Used to all eyes on you and can’t accept that I don’t see you as anything but what you are?”

Jeonghan’s hand cups his jaw and Joshua’s heart thumps in his chest. He leans in, so close Joshua can feel the warmth of his breath. Right before their mouths touch he moves, just slightly, tongue darting out to lick a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth. 

When their eyes meet again, Jeonghan’s are back to black, red pupils almost triumphant. 

“Like I said. You will.”

Jeonghan rises to his feet and walks to the opposite corner of the room, peering around the rubble, wiggling pieces of drywall in an effort to find a way out. Joshua’s heart is still hammering. The image is burned into his mind. Jeonghan’s warm brown eyes, blonde hair glowing, leaning closer and closer.

Maybe he does want Jeonghan to kiss him. Maybe it’s shock. Maybe he’ll make it back to his apartment and sleep for a whole day and then he’ll realize this whole thing is just a bizarre dream. Like the one with Wonwoo. His brain working through something deep down that doesn’t mean anything at all. 

He loses track of how long they’re trapped in there. Hours. It feels more like days. Jeonghan finally manages to find a path out of the wreckage. He hoists Joshua up by his good arm.

“You won’t like this part,” he says. Joshua frowns, and before he has time to make a sound of protest Jeonghan has scooped him into his arms. 

“No,” Joshua says, “No, no, _no_. Don’t touch me.”

“I will put you down as soon as we’re out of this building. Pinky promise.”

Jeonghan squeezes them through the plaster. Outside of the room, they are on the fifth floor, balcony still intact, staring down at rubble and dust. Jeonghan’s arms tense around him. He runs and leaps, and for a moment he extends his kagune. Joshua stares at him. Angel. The name really fits.

He hits the ground easily, barely staggering from Joshua’s added weight. He walks through a crumbling yawn of an exit and sets Joshua down on his feet in the grass. Grass. Joshua wants to fall to his knees and kiss the earth. 

“Next time you’re hunting me down like a dog, remember that I saved your life.” Joshua looks over at him and he grins. “I’m not saying you owe me. Well, maybe I am saying that. I didn’t eat you at all. You’ve got to give me credit for that.”

Joshua thinks about Jeonghan licking blood from the corner of his mouth. He feels warm all over. He can’t get it out of his mind. He needs to. He has to.

Jeonghan doesn’t wait for Joshua to reply. He runs and leaps onto the roof of the building across the street, heading toward the rising sun. Joshua walks in the same direction, wondering when it will stop feeling like Jeonghan has eaten some vital, important part of him. Liver. Lung. Heart, maybe.

🙨🙨🙨

Seungcheol is in his apartment. It shouldn’t surprise him as much as it does. Joshua is used to being alone, is all. He has people that care about him. Jun and Minghao. His parents. But since he joined the CCG it’s been all work and barely time to sleep, let alone keep up with anyone. Joshua walks through the door, gash in his shoulder, bruised and dirty and exhausted and Seungcheol hurries toward him before he can even look surprised. 

“Jesus. What happened to you?” Seungcheol breathes. His hands hover over Joshua, wanting to touch but afraid to. “You need to go to the hospital.”

“I followed him into a building,” Joshua says. He’s shivering so hard his voice shakes. “It collapsed. It’s fine. I’m...fine.”

Seungcheol’s hands find his shoulders and Joshua winces, jerking away from his touch. Seungcheol’s hand is bloody.

“You’re not fine. We need to get you treated.” He wraps his arms around Joshua’s waist, warm and careful. Joshua takes a deep, shaking breath.

“He got away. I let him get away.” The truth is watered down but acrid on his tongue. Seungcheol shakes his head. He’s going to tell Joshua it’s not his fault. But it is. 

The Emergency room is carefully controlled chaos. It is pain medicine and the sound of his shoulder fitting back into socket. It is the whirring machine that checks him for brain damage. It is four weeks of medical leave and Seungcheol’s steady, warm hands until he’s safely back in his apartment. 

He lays in bed and dreams of Jeonghan. He watches television and thinks of Jeonghan. By the end of his leave he’s so desperate to think about something else he picks up his phone to text Jun only to sigh and toss it back on the couch next to him. They’ve sent each other the occasional text here and there since Joshua joined the CCG, but it’s not like it was when they were in university. Joshua can’t imagine Jun beckoning him inside his cheap apartment, having him over for dinner or inviting him to lay low after an investigation. Jun was a part of his life until he wasn’t. Joshua didn’t realize just how lonely the CCG has left him.

The first thing he does when he gets back to headquarters is request a new quinque. The whip is fine in theory, but every time he wields it against Jeonghan he’s at a disadvantage. Jeonghan is fast and quick and Joshua needs something a little heavier, with a cutting edge. The scientists grin and nod and the whole process is much easier than Joshua ever imagined it would be. Investigators consider their quinques to be a part of them. To turn one in and get another, to add one more to the arsenal, makes it feel much less personal.

He gets a lot of claps on the back, pats on the shoulder that isn’t still in a sling. He walks into his cubicle only to find a promotion waiting for him. First Rank Junior Investigator. It doesn’t feel deserved, even with his body banged up and the intel he’s added to Angel’s file. He accepts it anyway.

Another three weeks and the bandages come off. Angel is...surprisingly inactive during his recovery. Joshua wonders, a strange hope, faint like a flame, if the time they spent in that building had as much of an effect on Jeonghan as it had on him. It doesn’t change what he is, what he’s done. If Jeonghan disappeared from the ward completely, the only thing that would change is that Joshua would be looking for a new ghoul. He’s not sure he likes the idea of hunting someone else.

Joshua is between headquarters and the train station when a man falls into step beside him. The blonde hair in his periphery tells him all he needs to know. 

“I see you’ve healed up nicely,” Jeonghan says. “Being human must be exhausting. I’ve never been injured longer than a few hours.”

“I would never want RC cells. Not even on my deathbed,” Joshua mutters. 

Jeonghan skips ahead of him and continues their walk face to face.

“I missed you, you know,” Jeonghan says. There’s a small smile on his face. It’s amazing how beautiful he is without the black eyes. “What’s the point of eating if you’re not there to see the mess I made?”

Joshua pulls out his quinque and swings. Jeonghan is expecting a whip. Instead he gets the curved blade of a scythe to his abdomen. He doesn’t account for the change of distance, of strength. He hisses, leaping further back. He touches the slice and his hand comes back wet. Joshua almost grins. 

“Interesting,” Jeonghan says. His eyes go black, kagune extending from his shoulder and hardening into spikes. He charges, nicking Joshua’s shoulder (the bad one, the one Jeonghan knows is tender with barely healed skin). Joshua dodges and ends up with his back to a chain link fence. 

“You didn’t think I’d upgrade my quinque?”

Jeonghan smirks, stalking closer. Joshua dodges another strike just in time, the sleeve of his trench coat tearing. Joshua slices out and Jeonghan spins away from the blade. He knocks into a dumpster and hits the front of a building. Joshua doesn’t waste time. He charges and holds his quinque to Jeonghan’s throat, leg slotted between his. 

“The shape is awfully familiar.” Jeonghan presses into the scythe and cants his hips against Joshua’s leg. A line of blood appears on the side of his neck. “Did you miss me so much you had to get a weapon that reminded you of me?”

“No better way to fight a monster than by learning from him,” Joshua says. He reaches out and runs his fingers over the edge of the blade, ghosting next to Jeonghan’s skin. He shouldn’t be doing this. He can see it in Jeonghan’s eyes, too. The way they’re both thinking about Joshua’s fingers on his kagune, instead. Joshua’s fingers around his throat. His blood pumps hot through his veins. Joshua has never wanted something so much in his life. 

Jeonghan’s eyes are half lidded. Red pupils, red veins running through solid black. It’s amazing how beautiful he looks. He lets out a shaky exhale, and for a moment he considers it. It would take nothing for him to close the space between their mouths. He doesn’t even realize he’s moved closer until their foreheads touch. It’s Joshua’s turn to exhale long and shaky. 

And then Jeonghan’s knee drives into his stomach, hand shoving him backward. Joshua hits the ground and gasps in a breath, staring up at Jeonghan, at the line of blood at his throat. 

“Ask me again next time, sweetheart,” Jeonghan says. The end of his hair is stained red with blood. He tucks it nonchalantly behind his ear. “If you’ve really learned from me, then you know we’re almost there. I’ll give you what we both want soon enough.”

He walks down the road and Joshua stays on the ground for a long time after he disappears from view. What does it mean that Joshua is attracted to a killer? That Jeonghan would just as soon kiss him as scoop his heart out and sink his teeth into it. Maybe he’s put too much of himself into this case. He’s spent too much time thinking about Jeonghan and now his wires are crossed. Maybe he’s crossed the point of no return. Maybe he can’t be saved.

  
  
  


The CCG has a graveyard for inspectors. In the past two years alone the space has almost filled completely. Vaults of ashes line mausoleum walls. Headstones line the paths, spider lilies and sticks of incense give the air a cloyingly sweet smell. It clings to Joshua’s suit jacket every time he comes here. Seungcheol walks the path in a decidedly familiar way. Like visiting an old friend. 

The grave is a small, unassuming thing. There’s a cherry blossom tree, close enough that in spring the petals must fall across the stone. Lee Hwitaek. He was younger than Joshua thought. Special Class Investigator Hui. Joshua is a part of his legacy in a fraternal kind of way. Hui to Seungcheol, and now Seungcheol to him. Partners. 

“Hui taught me things you can’t learn at the Academy,” Seungcheol says. He rubs the back of his neck and smiles sheepishly. “It’s cliche, but it’s true. I would have died countless times without his lessons.”

“He’s a legend,” Joshua says. “They talk about him the same way they talk about Yixing.”

Seungcheol grins. “He was no Yixing, but he was good. Every day I wake up and hope to make him proud.”

“You’re a legend too, Seungcheol,” Joshua says. “Even if I didn’t know you from before, I would have wanted to be your partner.”

Seungcheol reaches out and squeezes his shoulder. 

“I’m nothing special. Commissioner Chae, now that’s a man with a legendary record.” He lets go and turns back to Hui’s grave. “Anyway, I wanted you to come with me today. I visit whenever I need to clear my head. Sometimes I come here to remind myself what ghouls are. What they’re capable of.”

Joshua frowns at Seungcheol’s profile. “I know what ghouls are. I know what they’re capable of.”

Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, you know one side of what they’re capable of. Some day you might meet a ghoul that makes you question what you know. Nicer than you expect, or prettier. And you’ll say to yourself, he’s not what I thought. Maybe it’s all wrong. Maybe we’re the ones who are wrong.”

“Seungcheol, what are you —”

Seungcheol turns to look at him again, a hard glint in his eye, a hard line to his mouth. He looks tired, older. “Ghouls only care about killing and eating humans, Joshua. Don’t follow one down the wrong path. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

He walks past Joshua and toward the parking lot. It’s funny. Sometimes Seungcheol feels like a stranger, someone constantly out of his reach. Sometimes he feels like he knows everything Joshua has ever thought and then some. Joshua knows who Jeonghan is. He’s a ghoul. Even worse, he’s a binge eater. His hunger is never satisfied. He isn’t kind and he isn’t a good person, but Joshua can’t get him out of his head. He’s beautiful. He’s deadly. He saved his life when he could have killed him. He wants Jeonghan to kiss him, blood and terrible and wrong, so badly he feels constantly light headed.

Seungcheol shouldn’t know all that, but it seems like he does. What he said is true, and Joshua knows it’s true, but Jeonghan became the angel on his shoulder months ago.

He can’t get rid of him. The worst part is he doesn’t really want to.

🙨🙨🙨

There’s a coffee shop next to the university. It was Joshua’s favorite when he attended. The coffee was good, not like the chain stuff they served in the bookstore. The walls were a soft cream and plants soaked up the sun in the front window. Students used to joke that it must be run by ghouls with prices so reasonable and coffee so flavorful. 

Ghouls bring destruction and ruin with them wherever they go. Angel’s latest feeding frenzy has left the coffee shop’s door on the street, metal bent from brute strength. There are other investigators at the scene Joshua doesn’t recognize.

“They’re from the 14th ward,” Seungcheol murmurs to him when they enter the shop. “They were in town on business with the Commissioner and wanted to see our binge eater in action.” 

They’re both dressed in the standard beige trenchcoat, both holding briefcases. Old school. Quinques used to come like that, but today they are smaller, compact enough to carry around in pockets. Joshua can tell they’ve been working together for a long time. It’s the way they stand next to each other. Trust like that doesn’t come from nothing. It’s what he imagines Seungcheol and Hui must have been.

The wooden floor sags under Joshua and Seungcheol’s combined weight, boards swollen with blood. The sound of his shoes, the sick squelch combined with being so close to the university take him right back to his dorm room. He thought he was over this already, but it keeps sneaking up on him. He’s hit with a wave of nausea. He watches Seungcheol out of the corner of his eye and concentrates on his breathing. 

Bodies and pieces of bodies litter the cafe. The other two inspectors greet them with a nod.

“This is him, right?” the dark haired one says. “Messy. We haven’t had binge eater activity in a few years.”

The other man, dirty blonde, gives Seungcheol a quick bow. “Taemin. This is Jongin. We’re here to coordinate Operation Daisy.”

Seungcheol returns the bow. “I’m Seungcheol. This is Joshua. We’ve been overseeing Angel’s case.”

Jongin whistles, a long and low thing. “Seems the type to always be one step ahead of you. We can help if you want.”

Maybe it’s because Joshua was out of work for weeks. Maybe it’s the inherent desire to be the one to save the day. Everyone at the CCG has a bit of a hero complex even if they don’t want to admit it. Or maybe it’s the delicate chill of fear that settles in the base of his spine when he sees these men and their briefcases, the mention of an operation he hasn’t been briefed on yet.

“ _No_ ,” Joshua rushes out, too loud, too fast even to his own ears. All three men turn to look at him. Seungcheol’s eyebrows are raised. “Thank you. For your offer. I really... _we_ , really, have to stop him.” He takes a breath. Sweat slides down the back of his neck and he realizes that he’s still breathing too fast. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean any offense. I’m just —”

Seungcheol reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I think you should get some air. You don’t look so good.”

He glances at the three of them again before nodding. The sound of his shoes on the floorboards makes his vision swim the whole way. Before he leaves, he can hear Seungcheol say, “You know how rookies are. He just came back from medical leave, too.”

He must have done something wrong. It all kind of blends together in his mind. The smell of blood, metallic and sharp. The way he can picture Jeonghan in the cafe. How carelessly he killed, how hungrily. He walks down to the next building, leans against the brick and breathes. It’s like Jeonghan is upping the stakes on purpose, each scene bloodier than the last. Like a test he needs to pass. _This is what I am, are you sure you understand?_

When he feels like he won’t embarrass himself, he walks back down and into the cafe. Taemin and Jongin give him a nod as they pass on their way out. They don’t pay him much mind and for that he’s grateful. It’s better to be an overeager rookie than a man on the brink of ruining not only his career but his entire life. 

Seungcheol pats him on the back when he makes it through the mess and back to his side. 

“It’s different,” he says, “seeing death after a stint in the hospital. Take your time. Don’t push yourself.” Seungcheol’s hand lingers. He gives him a squeeze before he lets go. “Let’s do a final sweep. He’s getting reckless. He’s going to slip up eventually.”

Joshua nods and walks back toward the broken glass at the entrance, starting his sweep there. Seungcheol takes the opposite corner, and it takes almost no time at all for them to meet in the middle. 

Jeonghan is too smart to leave something by mistake. That’s why when Joshua notices the rose petals on the counter next to the barista’s severed arm, he knows it’s for a reason. They were white originally, but blood has soaked through some and splashed across the tops of others. 

They’re arranged in a heart. 

Joshua finds that he’s not as dizzy as he was when he first walked into the coffee shop. He hardly notices the arm at all, eyes trained on the heart Jeonghan left just for him. If this is a test, an obstacle to overcome, he thinks he might have passed.

Seungcheol sees him staring at them and coughs. “He’s sure got a sick sense of humor. Do you think he’s mocking them?” Seungcheol glances at the bodies strewn around the cafe. “Probably a lot of couples here. Maybe he’s one of those that hates love.”

Joshua takes a shaky breath and nods. “This is the only strange thing in the whole cafe. He was just hungry, I guess.”

“He won’t stop until he’s dead or locked in the Cochlea,” Seungcheol says. He rakes a hand through his hair and sighs. “Here’s to hoping we catch him before Operation Daisy. I won’t be able to focus on that many objectives at once.”

“What is that? Operation Daisy.”

Seungcheol grins, but it’s tired. “Give it a few weeks. You’ll hear about it soon.” He walks toward the door and Josua follows behind him. “I’m going to look over his file again. I feel like I could recite it in my sleep, but maybe we’re missing something. Maybe his home base is so obvious we’re just dismissing it as a possibility.”

 _I doubt that,_ he thinks. If Jeonghan wanted to be found he would leave Joshua a trail of blood. Or maybe flowers, like those spider lillies at the cemetery, a beautiful, bloody path to hell. He doesn’t tell Seungcheol this, just follows him to the car and back to the office, where they both pour over file number 1004 like it’s their first time seeing it.

🙨🙨🙨

The rest of the week passes by slowly. The two investigators from the 14th, Taemin and Jongin, pop in and out of meetings with Commissioner Chae. Curiosity eats at Joshua. He catches himself before asking Seungcheol just what the hell Operation Daisy is right as he opens his mouth. He’ll find out when it’s time. He focuses on patrolling, interviewing. He even apprehends a ghoul right before he stabs a woman with his kagune, tackling him to the ground and throwing cuffs on him before he even knows what’s happening. It feels good, like things are finally heading in the right direction again. 

Friday night finds Joshua taking the long way home. His apartment is ten minutes by train from CCG headquarters, but when the weather is nice or when he needs to clear his head he walks home instead. It’s nice to look up at the night sky and pretend he can see constellations in the halos of the streetlights. Activity has been high enough that he should be wary, but he’s got his quinque. He’s not afraid of what ghouls he might find along the way.

He’s two miles from his apartment when he hears ragged breathing. Hoarse, like the person is injured. He slips his hand into his pocket and grips his quinque, steeling himself as he rounds the corner. There’s a shout a few blocks away, the sound of a heavy weapon hitting brick. 

Joshua sees a man lying in the street, a pool of blood around his body. The voices grow fainter, the sounds of weapons fading into the drone of cars and the train. He runs toward the man. When he spots the shock of long, blonde hair, he sprints. 

Jeonghan. Not a man. A ghoul. Sitting in a puddle of his own blood. The street light makes it shine, too bright, too fresh. Jeonghan gasps in another breath as Joshua kneels at his side.

Jeonghan recoils at first, kagune hardening to a point and speeding toward his neck until it registers. The point nicks his skin and Joshua sucks in a breath.

“What are you doing here?” Jeonghan asks. Blood trickles from the corner of his mouth.

“ _What happened to you?_ ” Joshua whispers.

Judging from the blood, there are two possibilities. Jeonghan was attacked by an SS ranked ghoul, or Jeonghan was attacked by a CCG investigator. 

“Some doves,” Jeonghan says. “Never seen them before. Must be new. Or passing through.”

Oh. It was them. 

He thinks of Taemin and Jongin, their briefcases, the way they move like a single person, and he shivers. 

“Jeonghan,” Joshua says. His voice shakes. “Are you... _god_ , what can I…” he trails off. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do.

Jeonghan’s words echo in his mind. _I’m not saying you owe me. Well, maybe I am saying that._ It’s not like he was the one who tore Jeonghan open and left him to choke on his own blood. He owes him. That’s all this is. Life for life.

Jeonghan is losing blood at an alarming rate. He leans back enough for Joshua to see what’s happened. There’s a hole where his liver used to be, big enough to put his fist through. Blood pours from Jeonghan’s mouth and Joshua fights against dizziness.

Joshua’s hands hover over him, trembling. Jeonghan is...well, _is_ it a mortal wound? Ghouls are hard to injure, harder to kill. The clips they showed at the Academy were all sure kills. Sever the spine. Cut off the head. He doesn’t know if something like this can be healed fast enough.

Jeonghan shakes his head and takes a shaky breath. “What kind of quinque shoots things that big? Fucking _hurts_ .” He presses his hands against the hole in his abdomen and squeezes his eyes shut. The ends of his hair are coated in blood. All of him is, really. Joshua finally reaches out and puts his hands on his shoulders. It’s grounding to feel him, solid and warm. “I’ll be fine, sweetheart. Promise. I just, _god_ , it’s gonna take me a day at least to heal.”

“If you eat will you heal faster?” Joshua asks in a rush. He doesn’t think about what he’s saying. It’s like Jeonghan being the enemy has disappeared as quickly as his blood is soaking into the blacktop. “You can...from me, if it’ll help —”

And the truth is that it’s never been about owing him. Joshua doesn’t want him to die. Ghoul. Monster. Angel. Jeonghan’s hand darts up and wraps around the back of his neck. He pulls Joshua closer and the reality of what he’s said hits him like a truck. He told Jeonghan to _eat him_. What was he thinking?

He doesn’t go for the tender flesh of Joshua’s neck. He doesn’t sink his teeth in at all. Instead, he presses their lips together, soft and gentle and easy. Joshua makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat. He doesn’t pull away. His hands slide up Jeonghan’s shoulders to cradle his face, fingers slipping into his hair.

He tastes blood. Jeonghan’s lips are slick with it. Joshua pulls back only to change the angle, kissing Jeonghan properly this time. Joshua’s heart hammers in his ears. It’s _everything_. He’s thought about this countless times, but fantasy could never live up to the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips parting for him, their tongues curling against each other. The blood, too, feels right.

Voices and footsteps. Soft at first, but it grows loud enough that Joshua pulls back even though he never wants to stop kissing Jeonghan. 

“Come with me,” Joshua says against his mouth. “They’ll find you if you stay here.”

He expects Jeonghan to put up a fight. Reluctance. Mistrust. They’re enemies after all. Instead when Joshua stands and holds out a hand he takes it.

Jeonghan drapes an arm around his shoulders, leaning most of his weight against Joshua’s body. The bleeding has slowed enough that he’s not leaving a trail while they walk, but Joshua is careful, taking side streets and winding around a few buildings in case anyone bothers to track him. The walk isn’t as slow as it would be if Joshua were the one injured so gravely. It should send a shiver of fear up his spine to watch Jeonghan walk relatively normally with a hole in his body. Instead, he’s grateful.

Before they head into his apartment building Joshua takes off his trench coat and drapes it over Jeonghan’s shoulders. He wrinkles his nose at it but doesn’t complain any further, just pulls it tight to his body. At this hour no one is in the lobby, but it’s better to keep things as discreet as possible. It’s a short elevator ride to the fifth floor, and Joshua’s hands only tremble for a moment before he gets the key into the lock and opens the door.

He lets Jeonghan walk in first. He locks the main lock and the deadbolt behind them, breath whooshing from his lungs as he leans his head back against the door. 

“It’s smaller than I imagined it,” Jeonghan says. His voice isn’t as pained, but he still looks pale when Joshua meets his eyes. “Doesn’t the CCG pay enough for you to get one of those nice penthouses downtown?”

Joshua lets out a sound that might pass as a laugh. “Not at my level they don’t.” He slips off his shoes and walks further into the room. “We should get you cleaned up.”

Jeonghan lets Joshua’s trench coat fall from his shoulders into a heap on the floor. Like that’s where it belongs.

“It’s not like I’ll get an infection,” he says, tucking his hair behind his ear. “I’d rather just sleep it off.”

“You’re going to get everything I own bloody.” Joshua’s hand trails down his arm and he laces their fingers together. “Now come with me.”

“Fine, fine, whatever you want sweetheart,” Jeonghan says with a put upon sigh. “If you want to get me naked you can just ask, you know.”

Joshua ignores the way his stomach swoops as he leads Jeonghan down the hall and into his bathroom. Jeonghan’s shirt is tacky around the wound, practically glued to his body with blood. He slips his fingers under the hem and works it as carefully as he can off his body. Jeonghan hisses when he makes it to the wound. The hole is already smaller, not quite fist sized. It doesn’t look like Joshua can see through it anymore, but the sight still leaves him queasy. He manages to free it with a few careful tugs, and Jeonghan only hits his sink once from the pain.

When the ruined cloth falls to the floor Joshua is left with a body sculpted. Jeonghan is beautiful, but without clothes he is something else entirely. Beneath the blood coating his skin he is as toned as you’d expect a ghoul who kills as often as he does to be. There’s a scar on his chest. Close to his sternum, dark and jagged edged. Joshua almost reaches out to touch it. 

Jeonghan sways on his feet and Joshua’s hands find his waist instead, steadying him. His breath catches in his throat. Jeonghan seems to freeze under his hands, body inhumanly still. 

“Maybe not a shower,” Joshua whispers. Jeonghan nods. The tips of his hair leave lines of blood on his shoulders,trailing over the tops of his collarbones. Joshua removes his hands carefully, and when Jeonghan is steady on his feet he turns the water on.

“I can handle the rest,” Jeonghan says. His eyes are warm, the hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. “Or do you want to stay and watch? Didn’t strike me as that type.”

Joshua shakes his head. “I won’t watch. I’m not leaving you in here by yourself.” _I don’t know how hurt you are_ hangs in the air unspoken. Jeonghan grins and unbuttons his pants. Joshua rolls his eyes. Of course Jeonghan wouldn’t warn him. He turns to face the door and settles on the floor. Jeonghan hisses as he sinks into the water. There’s a sharp intake of breath and then silence. 

There are no clocks on any of his walls, no droning tick to measure the seconds that pass. It’s just the gentle sound of the water, the even rhythm of Jeonghan’s breathing interrupted by the occasional sharp intake of breath. 

“We’re the same age,” Joshua says suddenly. “Did you know that?”

“No,” Jeonghan laughs under his breath. “I’m not the one with intelligence files here.”

“Would you have gone to university if you weren’t a ghoul? Would we have met each other in some general class? Would we have ended up sharing a dorm?” Joshua glances behind him to see Jeonghan scrubbing blood off of his arm. He turns back to the door in a way he hopes doesn’t look too fast. “Would we have been friends in another life?”

“Do you think we aren’t friends now?” Joshua turns around fully and Jeonghan laughs. He keeps their eyes locked. “You might not want to admit it, but we haven’t been enemies for a long time. Any other investigator would have finished me off tonight. Or at least left me out there. But you brought me here.” 

Joshua inches closer. The water is so red it’s opaque, Jeonghan’s body hidden from view. He watches his flesh knit back together slowly. It’s gradual enough that Joshua almost can’t notice it happening, like something you can only see in your periphery. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks instead of responding. Jeonghan laughs, wincing a little. 

“You mean when it heals?” Jeonghan asks. He shakes his head. “It’s uncomfortable, but it’s not as painful as whatever the hell went through me.”

“I told them we were handling it,” Joshua whispers. The words are soft, more like a movement of lips, but they feel too loud all the same. Maybe it’s how close he is to Jeonghan. “They’re from the 14th ward. I told them we didn’t need help tracking you down. Why did they go after you?”

Jeonghan sighs. There’s an out of place, fond smile on his face. “To be a ghoul is to be hunted, sweetheart. I’ve never been one to blend in. Do you really think there’s anyone in the CCG that doesn’t know my face? Investigators will hardly think about who is rightfully in charge when they spot a ghoul.”

“ _You’re mine_ ,” Joshua whispers. Jeonghan’s eyes widen, darken. “The only person allowed to hunt you is me.”

“Is that why you’re patching me up? So you can set me free and chase me again?” Jeonghan grins. “Since when did I become the mouse?”

Joshua runs a hand through his hair, tugging on the strands at the nape of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about it for months and I still don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing with you.” He reaches out and lays a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “But I don’t want to stop.”

“Then be a dear and help me clean up.” He leans forward to pull the drain in the bath. “I think the bleeding has finally stopped.” Joshua takes his hand off Jeonghan like he’s been burned, turning away before the water flows down the drain and exposes him. Jeonghan laughs again and this time there’s no hitch of breath. He really _is_ recovering.

“You call me yours but you turn away. You’re too sweet for your own good.” The water runs again, and Joshua feels drops of water hit the back of his neck. “There, there, you can look. I pulled the curtain.”

Joshua peeks behind him to see that Jeonghan actually has covered most of his body from sight with the shower curtain. He turns around just as Jeonghan disappears under the water. When he comes up, Joshua holds out a hand, expectant. 

“If you want me to help then turn around.”

Jeonghan looks at him for a long time before he relents.

It’s strange to realize how much he’s wanted to touch Jeonghan’s hair. It’s not something he’s put a lot of thought into. Even in past relationships, he’s never been so fixated on it, but now that he can, running his fingers through Jeonghan’s long hair is the only thing he wants to do.

He rubs shampoo between his palms and starts washing Jeonghan’s hair. It’s tacky with blood, especially at the ends, and it takes a lot of patient massaging to get it to come off. Jeonghan makes a soft, contented sound and leans into the touch. Joshua feels it physically, fights to keep his hands from tightening in the strands. When he finishes, he spends a few moments kneading the muscle at the base of Jeonghan’s neck. 

Jeonghan’s body relaxes under his fingers and Joshua shudders, the sound of his heart loud in his ears. He rinses away the blood and does it all over again, half to get the bloodstains out and half because he wants to keep touching Jeonghan. It feels like there is nothing but time. It feels like he will never be able to do this again. When he rinses Jeonghan’s hair his fingers slide down, flicking away soap on his shoulders, across his collar bone. Jeonghan glances back at him, eyes bleeding to black.

“Don’t forget yourself, sweetheart,” he says, voice low, “We both know I bite.”

For a second, Joshua almost says, _I offered to let you eat me. You think that scares me?_ He keeps it to himself, setting his hands back in his lap. 

“I think you can handle the rest without me,” Joshua says in a way that sounds rushed even to his own ears. He stands up and turns toward the door. Drops of water fall from his fingertips to the tile. “I’d rather not have to explain why a piece of me is missing when I go back to work.”

The truth is that if he stays in here with Jeonghan for another second he’s going to climb on top of him (wound and blood and water be damned) and lose himself in the taste of his mouth. Jeonghan knows, of course he does, but he just waves his hand toward the door.

“Suit yourself.” He sighs, but he’s grinning when Joshua catches his eyes as shuts the door.

He walks down the hall and into his bedroom. His first instinct is to pull out his phone and call Seungcheol. A lover in his home, an enemy. Seungcheol would know what to do. Instead he swallows down the panic and pulls some clothes out for Jeonghan, sets them on the sink when he hears the din of the shower. The rate ghouls recover is really something. No wonder the CCG is fighting a losing battle.

Joshua sits on his bed and falls back, staring up at the ceiling. It feels like there’s still time to fix it, like he can kick Jeonghan out of his apartment and forget the whole thing. He can still see the hole in Jeonghan’s body, still feel the remnants of fear that licked up his spine. Jeonghan is here because Joshua wants him to be. 

Jeonghan is here because he _wants him to be_. Because he wants him. A ghoul, notorious S ranked Angel, but he wants him anyway. If he repeats it enough maybe it will sink in. He sits up when he hears the bathroom door open. Footsteps down the hall. Joshua stands up and makes it half way out of the room before Jeonghan appears in the doorway.

Seeing Jeonghan in his home doesn’t feel real. He’s toweling off his blonde hair, Joshua’s sweats low on his hips. ( _In his house, in his clothes, like they’re —_ ) He skipped the shirt because of his wound, but the hole in his abdomen is nearly gone. His eyes are warm and brown and it’s like he’s a dream that Joshua can’t rid himself of. 

“I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Joshua says. Something warm hums under his skin as Jeonghan steps closer. 

He rolls his eyes and lets the towel drop to the floor. “How much longer are you going to play the chivalrous knight?” He takes another step, another, and then Joshua’s back is against the wall and there is nowhere to go. “I think we’re well past that.”

Joshua can see it like a movie. Sliding his fingers into Jeonghan’s damp hair, sinking teeth into his bottom lip until blood flows hot over his tongue. Pressing him against the sheets and giving, taking, giving again. 

Jeonghan’s eyes flash red and he presses their lips together, hot and urgent. Joshua moans, his hands gripping Jeonghan’s hips. He’s right, of course. It’s not fear of Jeonghan that makes him hesitant. It’s the CCG. It’s Seungcheol. The idea of him finding out. How could Joshua possibly explain how he went from that scared boy in his university dorm room to the man shoving his tongue into a binge eater’s mouth? He barely understands it himself.

Jeonghan is the one to pull back first. He sighs again, dramatic, but there’s a gentle kind of understanding in his expression.

“Sleep on it, then,” he says. “I should be healed. It’s all up to you. Kick me out or let me stay. Kiss me or never touch me again.”

Jeonghan shoos him into the hall and shuts the door behind him. Joshua spends a long time staring at the wood, blood pumping hot in his veins. He can practically taste Jeonghan’s blood on his tongue, can still feel the hot line of his body against him.

On the couch, he stares into the darkness. It’s Seungcheol’s voice that echoes in his mind. 

_Maybe it’s all wrong. Maybe we’re the ones who are wrong._

🙨🙨🙨

Joshua wakes up with his arm curled around a warm body, face buried in blonde hair. At some point he must have moved from the couch, though he doesn’t remember it at all. His heart doesn’t leap into his throat, he doesn’t move away. He slept soundly for the first time in weeks. Maybe it’s because he knows right where the binge eater is, no fear that he’ll wake up to another crime scene. 

Maybe it’s that someone is here with him, real and warm and solid. 

Joshua rubs absently at Jeonghan’s skin, careful to avoid his injury. Last night it was already more scar than wound, pink and smooth, nearly healed. If his hand went higher he would probably find nothing but unblemished skin, or maybe really bad wounds leave scars. He thinks about the scar on Jeonghan’s chest and reaches up to trace his fingers over it, wondering if he’ll be able to feel it under his fingers. 

Jeonghan’s kagune wraps around his hand, halting his progress. He’s never seen a kagune so close before. It flows out of his skin like water, as natural as the connection of arm to shoulder. Jeonghan cracks an eye open.

“Are you always this handsy in the morning?” he asks, voice rough with sleep. He turns over to face him, kagune still warm around his wrist. 

“Are you always this prone to exaggeration?” Joshua fires back. He tangles their legs together, eyes drifting down to the pink skin over Jeonghan’s ribs. “Is it going to scar?”

Jeonghan follows his eyes, rubbing his hand over the healed skin. “Not this big, but yes. It will.”

“I want you to stay.” Joshua reaches out, expecting Jeonghan’s kagune to keep his hand in place, but he moves easily to cup Jeonghan’s cheek. “Until things cool off. As long as you need to.”

“Oh?” Jeonghan teases. He slots his leg between Joshua’s thighs, hands moving to his waist and pulling him closer. “And I thought you came to bed because your couch is cheap and uncomfortable.”

Joshua huffs and rolls his eyes. “You haven’t even sat on it. How do you know it’s uncomfortable?”

“Because _you_ ,” Jeonghan starts, kagune finally releasing his wrist to trail down the front of his body, “are the type to save all your money for some future that you aren’t even guaranteed. Your apartment, your clothes, it’s all just nice enough to look put together. It’s the first of your bad habits I’m going to break.”

The word goes rough in his mouth. Break, like a wild animal that needs to be tamed. Break, like bones under teeth. Joshua leans in and kisses him. There is no hesitation in the clarity of morning, only heat and want and the feeling of Jeonghan’s bare skin under his hands. Jeonghan’s tongue meets his and there is the faintest taste of blood. Joshua wonders if this is what he will always taste like, if this is just another reminder of what he is. He rests his palm over Jeonghan’s heart, the strong, steady beat of it sending a thrill down his spine. 

They break apart and Joshua leans in to press wet, open mouthed kisses to his neck. Jeonghan’s hand follows the path of his kagune until he’s palming Joshua over his pajamas. He’s already hard, sensitive from sleep, and he arches into the touch. Jeonghan hums and presses up with his leg, adding to the friction. His kagune is still a warm line down his chest.

“Are you gonna keep that out the whole time?” Joshua murmurs against his neck. Instead of answering, Jeonghan wraps his kagune around his waist and hauls him on top of him, thighs bracketing hips, hands on either side of his head. Jeonghan’s eyes are pitch black. His blonde hair fans out around him. He has never looked more like a fallen angel than he does in this moment. 

Jeonghan sighs in that overdramatic way he likes to, his kagune slipping off Joshua and coming to rest just above his shoulder. 

“It’s just so _useful_.” He grins up at him, wicked. Joshua doesn’t miss the implication, but he refuses to acknowledge the swoop of arousal it gives him. “But you’re right. Wouldn’t want to scare you off the first time.” His kagune melts away and his eyes bleed back to brown. “Some other time.”

“What about this time?” Joshua asks. He leans down and rests his weight against Jeonghan’s body. “What do you have in mind?”

Jeonghan makes a big show of thinking it over even as he hooks a leg around Joshua and grinds up into him. 

“Well, seeing as I’m recovering from a serious injury...” His eyes are dark and warm when he reaches up to trace Joshua’s cheek, thumb swiping across his bottom lip. “Would you like to fuck me, sweetheart?”

Joshua barely manages to bite back a groan. Jeonghan’s thumb slips into his mouth and presses down on his tongue. Brown pupils flash red, and Joshua grinds their bodies together, desperate with want. He swirls his tongue around Jeonghan’s thumb before it slips from his mouth. 

He moves off Jeonghan long enough to get his pants off and Jeonghan does the same, tossing them casually to the floor. Once he’s back on top of him Joshua crashes their lips together, wet and open and messy. Jeonghan’s hands slide down his back. His wires are all crossed. He wants it to hurt, wants Jeonghan to rip him open. 

When they break apart Jeonghan smirks like he knows, reaches between them and takes them both in his hand. Joshua’s hips stutter, friction and the feel of Jeonghan hard against him almost too much. They’ve barely done anything at all, but he could come with just a word.

He lets himself get lost in it, the feel of Jeonghan’s hand, the taste of his mouth. Jeonghan rolls his hips and sucks a bruise into Joshua’s skin. 

“Well?” Jeonghan asks, tightening his hand around them both. “Is this your idea of fucking?”

Joshua detaches himself from Jeonghan with a sigh. “Let me just…”

He leans over and grabs what he needs out of his bedside table. Jeonghan glances at the lube and rolls his eyes.

“You don’t have to,” he says. “Remember? Ghoul. I can heal almost anything.”

Joshua swats his thigh and settles between his legs.

“I don’t care if you can heal it. I want to make you feel good.” He smirks. “Do you always rush though sex or are you just worried a human like me won’t know what to do?”

Joshua slicks up his fingers and circles his rim. Jeonghan shivers. 

“Sex between ghouls is something you couldn’t imagine in your wildest dreams.” Joshua slips his finger inside and Jeonghan sighs. “It’s not making love. If you’re lucky, it’s like what humans consider fucking. Most of the time it’s like war. We never really stop fighting.”

Joshua tries to mask his shock and works his finger slowly inside. There’s almost no resistance, and he’s slipping another in after a few thrusts. Jeonghan strokes himself to Joshua’s rhythm. 

“Do you like it?” Joshua asks as he curls his fingers. “Have you ever slept with a human before?”

Jeonghan shakes his head. “Too risky. It’s easier to stick with ghouls. It’s dangerous, but it satisfies the need.”

Joshua knows everything about ghoul anatomy, knows that ghouls are built identical to humans except for their kagune and the Rc cells in their bodies. He’s patient, thrusting his fingers a little faster, and he’s rewarded with Jeonghan moaning when he glides over that spot, hand tightening on his cock. 

“ _There_ ,” he says, breathless. “Again.”

Joshua smirks. “Bossy.”

“I thought you said you wanted to make me feel good,” he counters, rolling his hips against Joshua’s hand. 

He slips in a third finger and presses relentlessly on Jeonghan’s prostate, fucking into him until his chest shines with sweat, pupils blown and thighs trembling.

Joshua pulls his fingers out and grabs Jeonghan’s hand, taking it off his cock. Jeonghan grips his wrist tight enough to grind the bones together and he hisses. Jeonghan licks his lips. 

“I might be on my back, sweetheart, but we both know who’s calling the shots.” He lets Joshua go and puts his arms behind his head. “I could break you in half with a well placed kick. Ask next time.”

Joshua rolls his eyes, uncapping the lube and slicking himself up. He lines up and leans forward, presses their lips together hungrily. He bites down on Jeonghan’s lip until he tastes blood. 

When he pulls back, a small line of it drips down Jeonghan’s bottom lip.

“You’re not the only dangerous one in this bed,” Joshua growls. “Aren’t you the one that keeps saying we’re past all this?”

“We are. It’s fun though, isn’t it?”

Jeonghan hooks a leg around his him and rolls his hips, fucking himself onto Joshua’s cock. He makes a sound low in his throat and Joshua has to lean down and kiss him again. Jeonghan makes him hungry in ways he never knew he could be, like how sex between ghouls is more like war. He kind of gets it, the hunger, the need clawing at him. He lets Jeonghan control the pace until he’s bottomed out.

For a moment Joshua stares down at him, the halo of blonde hair, the blood on his lip. It’s intense in every way. He feels lost at sea, in over his head with no land in sight. Blood rushes loud in his ears.

“You’re beautiful,” Joshua breathes. He reaches down and wipes the blood off his chin. 

Jeonghan’s smile is softer than he expects, less bite and more fondness. Like he knows, but he’s glad Joshua said it anyway. He digs his heel into Joshua’s back and tightens around him, and Joshua starts to move.

Sex is physical before it is anything else. Stamina and endurance, things you can build up and work on. It’s grounding in the way his morning runs are. Joshua fucks into Jeonghan slow and deep, fast and rough, waiting for a hitched breath or a soft sigh. Jeonghan gives him neither. Everything is a game with him, but this is one Joshua doesn’t mind playing.

He stops trying to please him and instead focuses on getting off. Jeonghan feels amazing around him. Even the precome streaking his stomach from Jeonghan’s cock sends jolts of arousal down his spine. He fucks Jeonghan like it’s the only time he will ever be able to, slows down to grind into him and suck bruises into his neck. 

He’s deeper like this, pressed so close to him, and Jeonghan gasps when he finally brushes over his prostate. Joshua grins against his skin. He sits up and slams into him again, wraps a hand around his cock and watches him bite back a moan. Suddenly he’s so close to coming he has to stop and take a breath, and Jeonghan takes full advantage of this by rolling his hips against him with a wicked grin.

“Don’t tell me you’re tired, sweetheart,” he teases.

Joshua grits his teeth and fucks into him again, matching the pace of his hand around Jeonghan’s cock. 

“Never.”

Everything gets hazy after that, the feel of Jeonghan, hot and tight and perfect. The slick slide of his hand on his cock. Jeonghan’s breathing starts to speed up and he takes Joshua’s hand away from his cock, uses it to tug him down into a kiss and shoves his tongue in his mouth. 

“Don’t stop, please,” Jeonghan pants between them. It’s so erotic it’s dizzying. Joshua keeps going, concentrates on how close Jeonghan is and how much he wants to see him come undone.

Jeonghan comes without warning, moaning into his mouth and spilling between their bodies. His eyes bleed to black between his fluttering lashes, and Joshua buries his face in Jeonghan’s shoulder and comes just like that. Jeonghan pulls Joshua up by the back of his hair and kisses him again. He grinds into him as they come down, savoring every moment of being with him like this. 

Joshua pulls out and falls on his side, breathing like he’s run a marathon. It’s the intensity of it that’s got him breathless. Jeonghan arches his back, stretching like a cat, before turning on his side to face him.

“That was fun,” he says. Joshua almost sighs out loud. Fun isn’t quite what he was going for. “Nicer than I thought.”

“Too nice?” Joshua asks.

Jeonghan shakes his head. “Just different. Next time I’ll show you what it’s like to fuck a ghoul, if you think you can handle it.”

Joshua rolls his eyes. “I think I’ll manage just fine.”

Jeonghan rolls over on top of him. His hair hangs down, tickling the sides of his face. When he looks down the line of Jeonghan’s body he can see a line of come on the inside of his thigh. 

“Let’s hope so, sweetheart. I’m going to make you feel things you’ve never even thought of.”

 _Why not start now_ , Joshua thinks dizzily. His fingers tangle in Jeonghan’s hair and he kisses him, arching his body up to feel him.

“I’ll look forward to it, then.”

He doesn’t ask when Jeonghan plans to leave. He doesn’t ask him what they are, what all of this makes them. The questions hang all around them, but between their bodies there is nothing but time. Joshua plans to use as much of it as he can.

🙨🙨🙨

Operation Daisy is a coordinated effort between Commissioner Chae and intelligence gathered from all the investigators in the 20th ward. Special Class Investigators Lee Taemin and Kim Jongin from the neighboring 14th ward provide additional, critical information.

They’ve located a warehouse situated in the no-man’s land between the wards. They have intelligence that this is where Rams Head and The Final One are based. Taking down two SS-ranked ghouls isn’t something the Commissioner is considering lightly, but through this coordinated effort, he plans a raid. 

It’s the most exciting news in the office in years. Even Seungcheol is thrumming with it like he hasn’t done this a few times in his career. 

There are whispers that Zhang Yixing will show up, but no confirmation from the Commissioner. He’s working on some top secret mission with CCG scientists, but that doesn’t keep investigators from talking about Yixing’s white hair, his double wielding quinque technique. Joshua feels a mix of awe and bone chilling fear. If the SS ranked ghouls are demons then Yixing is God himself, worshipped and feared in equal measure.

Joshua first hears about Daisy the week before, when a meeting is held in the auditorium in the basement of their building. Every available investigator is in attendance. Commissioner Chae stands with his back ramrod straight and explains what teams will go to what location, how they will be outfitted with armor and how the men leading the charge will be given bullets filled with Rc suppressants.

“We’ve had fantastic results,” Commissioner Chae says. “These bullets are going to enable us to turn the tide on this war.”

Joshua looks at the bullet he holds between his fingers and all he can think about is Jeonghan. He glances to Seungcheol and is surprised to find a crease in his brow, a frown at the corner of his mouth. Like there’s something about the whole thing that doesn’t sit right with him.

Seungcheol has been hunting Rams Head and The Final One for so long it’s a part of his life. How many years before Hui’s death? Joshua isn’t sure. He doesn’t have the heart to ask. If Jeonghan was suddenly the top enemy of the CCG, if hunting him down became the job of the entire organization instead of just his...well, it wouldn’t sit right with him either. 

He considers getting in touch with Jeonghan, but since he left his apartment they haven’t seen each other. It’s not surprising. Both of them know what it would mean to be caught with each other. Joshua went back to work, marks long faded, but he felt eyes on him all the same. Nothing happened. There was no interrogation. Nothing at all. It felt anticlimactic, like the handprints on his skin weren’t the pitch black marks he saw when he looked in the mirror. Like Jeonghan touched him and it was just like any other man touching him. Like Seungcheol, in his infinite wisdom, had told him the truth among carefully worded lies. 

Maybe we’re the ones who are wrong.

The week comes and goes in a blur of preparation. Seungcheol and Joshua run drills, fight simulations until they’re soaked in sweat and Joshua falls to the floor, spent. Seungcheol helps him up. It never feels condescending. 

Their hands are still clasped when Joshua pants out, “What happens after this? After we catch them?”

Seungcheol looks at him for a long time, their harsh breathing the only sound between them.

“There are always more ghouls, Joshua. It doesn’t end unless we make it end.”

He lets go of Joshua’s hand. It feels a little like he’s missed something important.

  
  


The night of the raid finds Joshua in an armored van surrounded by men he has seen a handful of times before. Some of them are wearing helmets, eyes wide and hands shaking. Some of them fold their hands in prayer. Some of them hold their quinques like talismans, staring at the weapon like it is the only thing that matters. Joshua thinks about how many ghouls he will have to kill tonight, and how many people he will have to avoid in order to find — 

Seungcheol meets him in front of the warehouse. There’s an almost imperceptible tremble to his shoulders, and Joshua can’t tell if it’s from adrenaline, excitement at what’s to come, or fear. He wants to say, _it’s okay if you’re afraid_ , but it’s better if he doesn’t.

“We’re heading in first,” Seungcheol says. Neither of them are wearing helmets. Seungcheol has an armored vest under his trench coat. Joshua left his at home, opting for discretion. Seungcheol is a famous face to Rams Head and The Final One. It’s not like he isn’t expected. He might as well make a show of it. 

Joshua nods and readies his quinque. The blade glints in the moonlight, the edge sharp enough to cut down any ghoul he might come up against. Seungcheol leads him to the center of the front line. Commissioner Chae is there, his dark hair slicked back, beige trench coat draped neatly over his shoulders. 

“How are you, Joshua?” Commissioner Chae asks. He gives Seungcheol a brief nod that he returns with the same casual air. “Your first raid. Nervous?”

“Honestly? A little, sir.” Joshua takes a breath and straightens his back.

Commissioner Chae claps him on the shoulder. “Me too. It gets easier with time, but the nerves never really go away. I find it easier to focus on what’s important. What I’m out here for.” He takes his hand off Joshua and grips his quinque. “Who I’m out here for.”

There’s a look of determination on his face that makes Joshua feel like he will never measure up to the man in front of him. Seungcheol, too, looks strangely guilty, like he can’t live up to the expectations of the CCG either. But that’s absurd. Seungcheol is one of the top Investigators, the man everyone at the Academy hopes to be. 

“Thank you, sir,” Joshua answers. “I won’t lose sight of what's important.”

Commissioner Chae hums and turns back to the warehouse, staring down at his watch. The attack commences on the hour. Joshua’s body hums with adrenaline. He has never seen Rams Head and The Final One, but in his experience the most powerful ghouls aren’t the grotesque monsters the public believes them to be. Joshua wouldn’t be surprised if the two SS ranked ghouls were salarymen in their daily lives, business suits and briefcases traded for blood and death at nightfall. 

Before they begin infiltrating the warehouse, the wide doors roll open and ghouls pour into the night. Commissioner Chae is the first one to run into the fray, the rest of the men falling into step behind him. Joshua spares a glance at Seungcheol before he, too, follows. The first ghoul he meets is an easy target, cut down before he even hardens his kagune into a spike. Two more ghouls meet him as he frees his scythe from the body. Joshua dodges the first attack before swinging at the pair. They fight as a unit, like they do this all the time. For a moment Joshua wonders if they’re partners, but he doesn’t have the time to focus on it for more than that. He ducks under a kagune and shortens the handle of his quinque, turning the blade and striking again. The first ghoul clutches his abdomen as the blade slices him through. The other ghoul looks down in shock and Joshua strikes again, extending the handle again to pierce the ghoul through the throat. 

They fall, and more take their place. It’s an endless fight. Joshua is glad he spent so many hours running drills. Dodge here. Swing. Free your weapon. Again. Again. Jeonghan is a better fighter than this, and he almost says as much out loud. But if the ghouls in front of him know about Jeonghan, the binge eater, they would hardly care. They are much more preoccupied on the hunt, on spilling as much dove blood as they can.

He ends up back to back with Seungcheol after a while. He spots a flash of beige at the entrance of the warehouse. Commissioner Chae must have made it inside. He wonders if there’s anyone to help him, though Chae Hyungwon hardly needs backup. 

When he spares a glance over his shoulder Seungcheol grins at him. His face is dirty and there’s blood on his coat but he looks like he’s having the time of his life. A string of dead ghouls litter the ground, but more ghouls run through the open doors. Joshua wonders how they will even make it to Rams Head and The Final One at this rate. 

Seungcheol’s eyes scan the ghouls as they come through the warehouse doors. A flash of blue catches his eye and he’s nearly hit by an oncoming attack. Joshua side steps and swings his scythe. The tip of the ghoul’s kagune hits the ground as he screams. 

For a moment they make eye contact. It’s a little like a mirror. There’s something, no, Joshua is certain there’s _someone_ he’s looking for.

He’s got to find Jeonghan. He’s known since he got into the armored van that he wouldn’t be able to fight for long without knowing Jeonghan was safe. 

“I’m sorry,” Joshua says. Two ghouls charge them, but Seungcheol is strong. He can handle them. 

He takes a step back, then another, and then he runs. Seungcheol screams his name. There is the sound of quinque against kagune, and then everything is lost to the sound of his own breathing, his heart hammering in his ears. 

Joshua runs. Men fight and fall on both sides and he keeps running. He has to find Jeonghan. He swings his quinque, he cuts down ghouls, and all he can think about is Jeonghan. Jeonghan is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, has been running circles around the CCG for nearly a year, but it doesn’t make the worry any less. There are hundreds of investigators out tonight. Not even an SS ranked ghoul can take on that many men and live.

He runs deeper into the city. It seems counterproductive. Ghouls live on the outskirts, the fringes. He doesn’t think Jeonghan does, though. He’s not the kind of ghoul who tries to blend in as a human, but he’s got a certain air about him, confirmed from his stay in Joshua’s apartment. A desire for fine things, kind of like a gourmet. 

Streets blur together the longer he runs. This far from the warehouse there is little fighting. A body crashes into him from behind. He hits the pavement and fear pierces his chest. He throws his weight to the side and desperately turns over, quinque ready to strike.

“Oh thank God,” Jeonghan says, breathless above him. He reaches down and cups Joshua’s face. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. We have to go.”

Joshua touches the hand on his cheek as weight lifts from his shoulders. _I was so worried_ , he thinks but doesn’t say. He doesn’t really need to. 

“Go where?” Joshua asks. He wants to pull Jeonghan down against his chest. He wants to kiss him. There is blood splashed across his cheek but he doesn’t care. He’s probably in far worse shape.

Jeonghan opens his mouth to answer but rolls off him just as a knife hurtles through the space his chest was a moment before. 

Joshua props his weight on his elbows and comes face to face with Choi Seungcheol, quinque in his right hand and a second knife in his left. 

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol asks, running closer. He points the tip of his sword at Jeonghan’s throat. Joshua looks from Jeonghan to Seungcheol as the color drains from his face. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The meeting of personal and professional was never supposed to happen. It’s not fair and yet it’s only right that he has to face this. 

“I’m fine,” Joshua says. He reaches out and grabs the edge of Seungcheol’s blade, lowering it away from Jeonghan. It’s so sharp it slices easily into his palm. “Everything’s fine, Seungcheol.”

His eyebrows furrow. He looks at the two of them for a long time. It feels like he’s done something unforgivable when Seungcheol’s face crumbles in front of his eyes. 

“ _No_ ,” Seungcheol whispers.

It’s too late to turn back. Joshua takes his hand off Seungcheol’s blade and moves it to lace his fingers with Jeonghan, squeezing.

“Don’t hurt him.” Joshua stares into Seungcheol’s eyes. “I’m going with him. I love him.”

Seungcheol drops his quinque like he’s been shocked. It clangs to the pavement, loud. It’s like everything is made of glass. There’s a look on his face that Joshua can’t place. 

“When I took you as my partner, I swore I would keep you from making the same mistakes I did. I tried _so hard_ to keep you safe, to make you better than I could ever be.” He laughs bitterly. “I failed you. God help me, I failed.”

“ _No_ ,” Joshua rushes out. He wants to reach for Seungcheol. He doesn’t. “No, Seungcheol. You’re everything I wanted to be. The CCG is lucky to have you.” He looks over at Jeonghan and then back to Seungcheol. “What you said at Hui’s grave. I’ve thought a lot about it. I think I know who’s right and who’s wrong, and I can’t stay with the CCG anymore.”

It’s quiet for a long time. His blood rushes in his ears. Jeonghan’s thumb rubs over the back of his hand absently. Seungcheol’s breathing evens out. 

For a long moment, Joshua wonders if Seungcheol will pick up his quinque and run them both through. He wonders if he would strike back. If he would even be capable of it.

Seungcheol doesn’t make any moves toward his quinque. Instead, he holds out his hands. 

“You’re sure this is what you want?” he asks. His voice is soft, resigned. Joshua nods. Seungcheol lets out a shaky exhale. “There’s a set of tunnels that will take you out of the ward. The CCG doesn’t know about them, but I can’t say the same for ghouls.”

Joshua glances to Jeonghan and gets a shrug in return. He takes Seungcheol’s hand and pulls himself up. Jeonghan does the same. Seungcheol doesn’t recoil like Joshua expects him to. In spite of the hostility he treats Jeonghan like any other man. The questions pile up like a physical weight. His shoulders almost tremble under them.

“ _Why_?” Joshua blurts out. He can’t help it. There are more questions that threaten to tumble from his mouth, but he keeps them in. 

“A long time ago, my partner told me that humanity is the biggest weakness of the CCG.” Seungcheol’s hand is still warm against his. “I think about it every day. His death. The ghouls that murdered him are monsters, but not every ghoul is.” Seungcheol glances at Jeonghan and makes a face. “I think you could do better, honestly. This one is hardly a saint.” Seungcheol lets him go and runs a hand through his hair. “What are the options here? I kill him? Kill you? Turn you in? You’re my partner. I’d never do that to you. Hui wouldn’t have, either.”

Joshua stares at Seungcheol for a long time. 

“I...thank you. I owe you my life. Really.”

Seungcheol shakes his head. “You’d do the same for me, right?”

Like he even has to ask.

It’s a short walk considering how far Joshua had to run before finding Jeonghan. Ten blocks, give or take, a few turns along the way. The tunnel is larger than Joshua expects. He’s grateful he won’t have to crouch down. Jeonghan is surprisingly quiet. Normally he can’t help but quip at Seungcheol, push both of their buttons until they snap. But it’s different, now. 

The end. This is the end. It hits Joshua out of nowhere. He almost has to steady himself, almost reaches out to the empty air in front of him. The tunnel is pitch black, drops of water echoing as they fall to the concrete below. 

He glances over and Seungcheol gives him a warm smile. It feels like a physical blow. 

“This is goodbye, then,” Joshua says.

Seungcheol nods. “For now. It’s better this way.”

Joshua takes a step toward Seungcheol. Another. He buries his face in the crook of Seungcheol’s neck, wrapping his arms around him. Seungcheol tenses for a moment before his arms, too, fit around Joshua.

“Thank you for letting me be your partner,” Joshua says. It feels real, what he’s doing. He has to blink back tears. “I’m grateful for everything you’ve taught me.”

“I guess I really taught you everything,” Seungcheol says, laughing under his breath. “You’re a good man, Joshua. Loving a ghoul...it doesn’t...you’re not a bad person.” He pulls back enough to meet Joshua’s eyes. “I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

The weight of acceptance is almost as crushing as the weight of disapproval. Joshua sucks in a breath and nods. 

“What about you? What will you tell them about me?”

Seungcheol shrugs. There’s a glint in his eye, something determined. Something Joshua hasn’t seen before. 

“Investigators are eaten all the time. If there’s not a body to bring back...well, it would hardly be unusual.” Seungcheol squeezes him one last time before stepping back. “Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be just fine, with or without the CCG.”

Joshua almost asks, but Jeonghan catches his eye and shakes his head. Maybe it’s better if he doesn’t.

He walks past Jeonghan and into the tunnel. Jeonghan takes a few steps toward Seungcheol and says something Joshua can’t make out. Seungcheol’s eyes widen, a flash of guilt that Joshua knows all too well.

Seungcheol disappears with a final nod to Joshua. Jeonghan walks ahead of him, fingers laced with his. The tunnel is dark, and time stretches into something unknown. Minutes, hours, the world will surely be something else when they make it to the other side. 

“What did you say to him?” he asks. Jeonghan hums, slowing his pace so they are side by side.

“There’s a place for him,” Jeonghan says. “Just like there’s a place for you. He just has to go back to it.”

Is there really a place for him? It doesn’t feel like it. Joshua has turned his back on everything. The CCG will never take him back. His family will think he’s dead soon. He can’t go back. There’s only — 

He squeezes Jeonghan’s hand. There is danger and blood laced through every look, every touch. There is love, too. The kind Joshua never wants to give up. 

He doesn’t know what kind of life waits for him on the other side of the tunnel. It will be with Jeonghan, though, and maybe that’s enough.

🙨 Epilogue 🙨

Wonwoo hears about the raid through whispers at first, then loudly through Minhyuk. It’s information he doesn’t have to pay for, at least. He can’t help but think about Seungcheol, and when smoke rises from the warehouse across the river he shivers. It’s been months. He misses Seungcheol the way he misses the life he had at university. Enormously. But there’s nothing he can do. He’s been on Hongseok’s radar for years. It’s not safe for him to stay at university, and it’s not safe for him to associate with Seungcheol. 

Besides, a ghoul sleeping with a dove is suicide. No outcome to their relationship was ever going to be good. 

Wonwoo settles on his couch with a book. He’s been reading for a few hours now, glasses slipping down over his nose. It’s a book one of the students he tutors recommended to him. A house that’s bigger on the inside than it appears. Secrets buried in each sentence, scrawled notes in the margins and backward letters. Interesting. Humans are endlessly interesting. It’s not easy to lose himself in the pages, not when smoke is visible in the dark sky and all Wonwoo can think about is Seungcheol.

Of course he’s out there. Probably right at the front, the hero he wants to be so desperately wouldn’t let him be anywhere else. They aren’t there, but the CCG doesn’t know that. Hongseok and Changgu have always favored the 10th ward, some nostalgia hanging over it. Changgu told him once that was where they met. Wonwoo doesn’t think he would tell Seungcheol, anyway. Better to let them try and fail to catch the SS ranked ghouls than to know their true whereabouts and die.

His phone lights up at the same time he hears the sound of a key in the lock. The door opens, and for a long time there is nothing but silence. 

Seungcheol is beautiful even covered in blood and dirt. His hair is shorter than Wonwoo has ever seen it, recently cut. He looks tired. He looks thinner. Wonwoo can’t breathe. 

They stare at each other. Seungcheol’s eyes wander over his face, down his body, settle on his hands wrapped around his book. He’s breathing hard. Wonwoo wonders how far he ran to get here. Why he even thought to come here in the first place. 

Seungcheol finally shuts the door behind him. 

“I didn’t know if you would still be here.” His quinque falls out of his hand and clatters to the floor. “I’m glad you’re here. I kept looking, I hoped you weren't —”

“ _You’re here_ ,” Wonwoo breathes. Seungcheol gives him a small smile. _Of course I am_ , it says, _where else would I be_? He stands and closes the distance between them all at once, reaches out and holds Seungcheol’s face between his hands. He’s cold, but he’s alive. He’s okay. He’s here.

“I missed you,” Wonwoo says. Seungcheol’s breath shudders out of him. He falls against Wonwoo’s chest, wrapping his arms around him so tightly he wonders if the CCG gave him some kind of strength enhancing drug. (Minhyuk’s been whispering about some nonsense like that, humans injected with Rc cells to fight ghouls. It’s not like they wouldn’t resort to something so barbaric.)

There’s so much to say.

The break was supposed to be a temporary thing. Wonwoo thought that Seungcheol would come to his senses, realize how morally bankrupt the CCG was, how the organization slaughtered innocents and murderers without care for who was who. How could a man like him see the truth and turn away, blindly? Maybe it was naive of him, but it was what he hoped. Weeks turned into months, and Wonwoo watched news reports where Seungcheol was promoted and praised, the circles under his eyes growing darker, the line of his mouth harder. Punishment. 

So Wonwoo tried to forget about him. For a while it worked. Wonwoo went about his daily life, freelance editing and private tutoring under a false name to make a living, and things were good. Great, some days. 

He dreamt of Seungcheol so much it was almost a comfort. The taste of his skin never left Wonwoo’s mouth, and now he is here. Real, after all this time.

 _Don’t contact me unless something major changes_. Wonwoo’s own voice echoes in his ears. Seungcheol is a man of his word. If he’s here, that means — 

Wonwoo tilts Seungcheol’s head up and presses their lips together. It feels like the first gasp of air after pushing off the bottom of a swimming pool. Like releasing his kagune. Like something he has to keep doing, something that he cannot help but do. Seungcheol sighs into it and kisses him back desperately. Desire surges through him, an all-consuming hunger. He can taste Seungcheol’s blood faintly, the barest hint from some injury during the raid, and Wonwoo’s entire body shudders. 

They’re both panting when they break apart. Seungcheol’s eyes stay locked with his. It’s like they say it all without speaking a word. Seungcheol is here. His life, at least the part of it with the CCG, is over. What about revenge, Wonwoo wants to ask. What about the SS ghouls?

If the CCG thinks he is dead, then for a while at least, Seungcheol will be safe from Hongseok and Changgu. The alternative is that they know he’s defected, but Wonwoo knows Seungcheol better than that. It’s almost a relief. Everything about him being here is a relief. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Wonwoo says. He presses a kiss to the tip of Seungcheol’s nose and he scrunches it. “Let’s get this off you.”

He slides his hands under the beige trench coat, dirty from battle. Seungcheol is warm and strong beneath it. No major injuries, at least. Wonwoo breathes a sigh of relief. His hands move up to his shoulders and he eases the coat off. It falls to the floor in a heap. Neither of them make any move to pick it up. 

_So he really did give it up_ , Wonwoo thinks dizzily. 

He leads Seungcheol to the bathroom and starts the shower. Seungcheol takes off the armored vest before casually pulling his shirt over his head, wincing from a nasty bruise on his ribs.

“What happened out there?” Wonwoo asks. Seungcheol sighs. 

“It’s a long story. I have a lot to catch you up on.”

Wonwoo can’t help but smile. He feels lighter than he’s felt in ages.

“Tomorrow.” Wonwoo presses another kiss to his mouth. “We can talk about it tomorrow. All of it.”

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” Seungcheol says as the room fills with steam. Wonwoo shakes his head, but Seungcheol presses on. “It took seeing it from the outside to really sink in. I love you. You’re a ghoul, but that doesn’t change how I feel.”

“I love you,” Wonwoo says. “I never stopped loving you, even when I saw you rising up the ranks.”

Seungcheol smiles before stripping bare and stepping into the shower.

“I never thought you’d stop. I know you thought the same about me.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes but there’s a smile on his face. A pair of fools. That’s what they are. 

Love is bloody. Love is pulling out your still beating heart and giving it to another. Love is consuming and being consumed. 

It’s a good thing Wonwoo is used to it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ayesha and I both have one fic each left in this universe so I do hope you stick around ;)
> 
> [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/woncheoling) // [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/tsukkitaeil)


End file.
